Love, Strength, Happiness

My Heart Overflows

2012-01-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

I have so much to be thankful for in my life, but after a harrowing weekend where I ached and worried for my dad, while learning more than I ever wanted to know about things like lactic acidosis, renal failure, sepsis and dehydration (to name just a few!), I will rest easy tonight because he is happy, healthy, and he is home.

But wait.. it gets even better than that!

Tonight, while I was resting, my sweet Abby brought me something that made my heart spill over with love, admiration, and pure Mama pride! She brought home a copy of an email that was sent to one of her teachers from the parents of a girl that Abby befriended at school. Abby is a mentor to new students and kids who struggle finding a place to fit in. I've always known that Abby was exceptionally kind, but to read such praise for my daughter, coming from someone I will likely never meet, I couldn't hold back the tears. I asked Abby for a copy of the email so I could share it here.

This is the email, unedited or changed in any way:

Mrs dickson,
Thank you so much for talking to Abby for us. She has really helped joy come out of her shell. As a 7th grader you think I;m Quiet and no one is like me or likes me. Joy was overwalm 2 monthes before 6th ended about going to jr high. she had a hard time. she was so excited to have abby as a friend and looked forward to her notes. she would come home and tell us all about it. It was like christmas everday for joy. she could ask abby questions she would not us. when this stuff started on the bus I was a little worried about her, But as I talked to joy about this she was tring to find someone to talk to about this. I suggested her friends she really didn;t want to talk to them I said why don't you ask mrs hughes if you can write abby. Her face kind of lite up. like ya abby doesn't look down on me I'm her friend and she will help me.
Thank you so much for letting Abby help us. You know there are some kids that think they are ok and tough enough to handle things on their own, but some just need a little help and a little friendship on their way. I don't know how to thank you and Abby enough for the things you have done for joy. I wish there were more Abby out there for kids today.

Now picture the tears streaming down my face as my heart swells with love for my girl. I am so grateful to have such wonderful daughters in my life. Each one of them make me want to be a better person! I'm certain that they will continue to share their Love, Strength and Happiness throughout their lives and I hope they will always remember the impact they have on others.

Wow. What a weekend! Dad is home and on the road to a full recovery. I hate to think of how close we came to losing him, so instead I will only think of how grateful I am for my family and for the love that fills my home each and every day.

I couldn't ask for more.

A Letter to Aunt Dottie

2012-01-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Dottie, forgive me for not writing more often. I received your beautiful card and we passed it around as we read and re-read it many times. I wonder if you know how much you are loved by our family! We think about you every day and hope you are doing well. Mom updates us on your phone calls frequently, and we constantly wish we could be back in Massachusetts with you!

Work is going well. I still have my nose to the grindstone and I have very little time to myself these days... but the crazy studying is done for now and I passed all of my tests with a 98% average. (Truthfully, it should have been a 100%, but I seem to freeze up and make silly mistakes on tests!) I can see a long future with this company and for that I'm so grateful.

The girls are all doing fantastic, as usual. They manage to go to school, work and get their family play time in as well. I'm such a lucky mom to be surrounded by such great girls! Hubby is his usual silly self.. he keeps us laughing and manages to frustrate us all at the same time. But we couldn't do without him! (and he loves the attention he gets from all his girls!)

We love you, beautiful lady! I hope I can sneak away to see you again sometime this year... maybe on one of Mom's trips out there. I miss you dearly!

Loving My Life

2011-12-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

You know the sound of cars wooshing past on the freeway? That's kinda what the past month has been like. No joke! I am LOVING my new job at Delta, but man is it a lot of work! I am in class for 8 hours a day, then I come home, throw together something for dinner (the cuisine around here has been nothing if not interesting, but probably less than highly nutritional), then I lock myself in my room and study until my eyelids slam shut and refuse to open. The next day I get up and repeat the process all over again.

But I'm happy!

I can't believe the difference in companies. Delta cares about their employees and works hard to create a great work environment that makes employees want to work harder, set more goals and achieve great things. I am so excited to be part of this team! Of course I know it is going to be difficult, and I know I haven't even seen the tip of the iceberg yet as far as the knowledge I will have to acquire in order to do my job, but I am eager to learn and I look forward to a great future at Delta!

So much has happened while I have been locked away studying.. Hubby took the girls to the Breaking Dawn premiere (because I was working), Ashley came out for a visit, Thanksgiving came and went, and we had one hell of a wind storm that has left me with a new appreciation for the folks who endure tornadoes and hurricanes!

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog in such a long time. I miss it here, I truly do! I am hoping that life will mellow out a bit in two more weeks when I get through the testing phase of my training. Until then, here's some pictures that have been taken in the last month for you to enjoy!


The girls on Thanksgiving Day


This is what happens when I tell them to not smile. They laughed for at least 5 minutes!


My lovelies!


Act Natural!

That's just some of the pictures we took on Thanksgiving day. I will post more when I have some free time. Right now, I really need to go study again! Are you getting ready for Christmas? I still have so much to do, but first I have two girlies that are going to be NINETEEN in just two weeks! I can hardly believe it!

Oh, Hello! What's New?

2011-11-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I have really enjoyed my time away from Google. Not that Google itself is bad, but the environment that I was stuck in was very, very unhappy (borderline sick and twisted, even!). I heard several more people have quit since I left. Good for them, I say! Onward and upward, right?

In my blissful time off between jobs, I have laughed a lot, rested a lot, and enjoyed cooking... A lot! Hubby has had some fantastic breakfasts and I have whipped up some yummy treats and dinners too. I have had fun trying new things I have discovered on my new fav website, Pinterest. When I make something that I have saved to my boards, I go back and comment about how we liked it. You can see my Tasty board here: CLICK FOR YUMMY FINDS! I am always scouting new recipes on Pinterest, so this will be an ever-changing link. I'm so excited to try all the tasty new recipes!

There's only so much eating that can be done around here though, so during the rest of my time I am busy studying for my new position at Delta. My head is crammed to the brink of ache with codes, terms, airline names, and other things I never really needed to know before. It feels like I have already learned and memorized tons of new information, but to put it in perspective... If this was a marathon, I just barely tied my shoes.

I'm so grateful to have a loving, supportive family that understands when I shut the bedroom door and study instead of hanging out with them. (Ouchie, though!) I miss hanging out with my besties but I know that this will eventually pay off.

Can you believe it is November already? It snowed here the other day and my sweet girlies got out some puzzles and spent the day laughing and putting it together. I so love my life!

What Language Do You Speak?

2011-10-27T16:26:00.000-06:00

I'm in a better place lately. Know how I can tell? I'm writing again. When I came back from Massachusetts, I was bummed... depressed really. And by that I mean, REALLY DEPRESSED. I have regrets about that trip and I have had to find a way to be able to live with those regrets. There was too much to do and not enough time. But we made the journey and our lives were enriched. Now I just have to start planning better for next time. Less sightseeing, more quality visits. That's the way I like it.

So to pull myself out of the funk, first thing I did was get myself a new job. (Yay!) I have five days left at Project Google and I am anxious to get out of there. Anxious doesn't even cover it really. I'm wasting away in a horrible work enviornment out there (foul-mouths, sexual harassers, and lazy scumbags are the typical co-worker there.. and the management does nothing about it!). I wish I could run away at top speed! But I'm doing my best to do the right thing.. Stick it out to have the proper two weeks notice complete. After that it's adieu, adios, aloha, arrivederci, auf widersehen, au revior, cheerio, cheers, ciao, farewell, good-bye, shalom, kiss my butt, and SAYONARA!

While I wait for the new jobbie job to start, I moved on to the second step to pulling myself out of the blahs. I want to continue to better myself and learning and growing are part of my core being. So, after some incredible words of advice from my little sis, I picked up the book "The 5 Love Languages" in hopes of getting to a new level of understanding ~~humanity~~ the Hubs. So far, I have not been disappointed. This book isn't just for marriages.. oh no! I have a new understanding of my parents, my children, and other important people in my life as well. I can't tell you how many shouting matches Hubby and I have had where each of us wants to tear our hair out because the other one just doesn't seem to get the point we're trying to make. I thought he was stubborn, bull-headed, and just plain lame-o for not understanding something so simple. I just want to be loved, okay?

He loves me. He really does. I know now that we speak different love languages. He has told me before that his way of expressing love is by doing things around the house. He cooks, he cleans, he fixes cars and other random broken stuff. He rushes off to help my siblings whenever he is needed, and he picks the kiddos up from school when I am unavailable. Don't get me wrong.. I have always appreciated these wonderful things about him. I just wanted to hear the words too.. yanno?

I speak the Love Language of words of affirmation and physical touch. I'm a hugger! I want to hold hands, snuggle up close and hug for every occasion. It's true! Just ask my girlies how often I dish out the love around here. You make me smile and you better believe you're gonna get hugged! I also believe in outwardly praising people for a job well done, for taking the extra time to go above and beyond, and for practicing kindness in every day living. I can't get enough of the powerful words of praise. If I appreciate something you've done, I WILL tell you, and then I WILL hug you! I will also give you anything I have if you need it more than I do. Those are the things that make my life worth living.

So what was the problem? Hubby and I weren't speaking the same language. He was frustrated because I was frustrated. He was showing his love in his native language, the same way I was. But our messages were getting lost in translation and we began to feel adrift. Adrift is not a lifestyle I can live with, folks. Consequently, I had a few really rough weeks where I questioned everything, considered major changes, and kept coming back to the same conclusion. He is my best friend. I will fight until there's nothing left to fight for.

Because of this incredible book, our edges have softened. The lightbulbs are on and life is peaceful again. I appreciate the fact that his Love Language is acts of service and I think he understands my language better now as well. Love is a choice. I choose every day to work hard for it and to constantly improve myself so that love will be lasting and ever-growing.

Yep, once again I'm a happy, content girl.

Click here to find out what your Love Language is!

I'm Leaving For The Jet Planes.....

2011-10-24T17:12:00.000-06:00

About one year ago this evil witchapalooza, named *DeLunatic Twinks, terminated me from working in hell along side her. I've known some hellish people in my life, but that lady took the cake. When pressed for a reason why she was terminating me, she couldn't think of anything to say. I'm not even kidding. It may have been because she could use her demon powers to read my mind and she knew that every day I thought she was the most ridiculous waste of breath on the planet. Did you ever see the movie Mean Girls? Yeah, she's like that. She hides behind her MoMo religion, thinking she is all sunshine and halo, but reality is that she is a beast that delighted on being cruel to other people. I wouldn't play her game and for that I was terminated. Hey, works for me. When I reported it to Workforce Services to collect unemployment, she made up the most laughable lies in an attempt to get my claim denied. Well, Witchy was the one denied as Workforce Services determined she had no grounds to fire me, even going so far as to tell me she was off her rocker, and I had a nice extended holiday for the next 7 months. You better believe I used every penny of it. (Thanks for the extended vacay, *DeLunatic Twinks!)

Then one of the airlines was hiring and I applied. I didn't really expect to sail through the hiring process, but I did. I was hired on the spot when I interviewed face-to-face. I should have been thrilled...but I wasn't. I had this dread in the pit of my stomach. I was worried about giving up time with my girlies. I wasn't sure I wanted to work that kind of customer service. I fretted, stressed and even cried a little... ok, more than a little. I knew it was something I had to do, but I felt like it was a prison sentence. Yeah, I know... and you know what? The Universe decided to teach me a lesson.

Remember that tsunami a while back that did a number on Japan? Turns out that the airline lost revenue because people suddenly didn't want to travel to an area devastated by Mother Nature. So three days before I was scheduled to start, the airline canceled my position. They said something along the lines of, "We're sorry, you're welcome to apply again in the future." Crap. I regretted my prison sentence feelings immediately, I honestly did. But the Universe wasn't done with my lesson yet.

Enter Project Google. I applied and was hired immediately. It was another whirlwind of "holy crap, what just happened?!" And I was slapped into a job with a shocking lack of training. But I was working. And I tried to make the best of it. Do you know that the Universe has a sense of humor? I learned quickly that this new company didn't value productivity at all. People all around me asked me to quit working so hard because I was going to get paid the same whether I did my work or not. Yowza! It was not a happy feeling. Before long, I realized that the management was a joke, the big bosses from California were willing to look the other way, and the only thing missing was the shackles. I worked in a pit of despair. But I was happy to be working, and I still worked hard. Too bad I didn't go to under-age drinking parties though, because the people that did go got the promotions. I was biding my time, making my apologies to the Universe, and promising that I would be appreciative of the airline if they'd just open up that position again.

I am happy to report that I gave my two week notice last Wednesday. Buh bye, Google. It was nice knowin ya.. sorta. I got the call from the airline that I have waited 6 months for and now I am in the right mental state to be happy, excited and appreciative. I'm counting down the days. I won't have to worry about people telling me to quit working hard, the benefits are amazing, and my parents get free flights. It's adorable how excited my Mom is about the free flights! It also makes me feel really good to be able to give something valuable like that to my parents who have always been there for me.

Thank you, Universe, for the valuable lesson. I am ready now. I can do this!

*Name has been changed because she's that scary. And her whooped man is a lawyer that does whatever she tells him because she stole his pants and she wears them now. He probably doesn't even own pants anymore.

Fall Portraits

2011-10-22T17:51:00.001-06:00

Yesterday my girlies held an open photo-shoot at a local park for anyone that wanted their portraits done. My sister wanted to get pictures taken of her little ones at the fall photo-shoot and Carley asked me if I would like to tag along. Uh.. yes please!

Many years ago, I was a professional studio photographer. We're talking back in the olden days when photographers used film. *gasp* It's true! I have maintained my love for photography all these years, and I love any opportunity to dust off my skills.

It was a perfectly beautiful day to take pictures on location. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the autumn colors were all around us and there were a few scattered leaves on the green grass. We had a blast!

These are just a few of the images I captured of my adorable nieces and nephew yesterday....

To Grandma, With Love

2011-10-20T08:09:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, Grandma. I miss you every day, Beautiful Lady!

I wish you were here to see my girls grow into wonderful young ladies. I know you'd be as proud of them as I am. Each of them have great qualities that remind me of you and we often speak of you when remembering something funny, or when we hear beautiful music.

It's already a beautiful day today, very fitting since this day will always belong to you. We love you with every part of our hearts and souls.

"...once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Massachusetts, 2011- A Wonderful Vacay That Was Much Too Short!

2011-10-18T16:30:00.001-06:00

I've had weeks now to reflect on my (Too short) visit to Massachusetts. I couldn't wait to get there, and I hated to leave! I wish Madi could have been there with us, but at this point in our lives it is difficult to get everyone together at the same time. Next time she will be with us for sure!

Settle in, grab a snack. This is going to be a long post! *This post is also jam-packed with links for you to click on so you can understand even more of our Massachusetts experience. Click the links when you see them, for more information.** You will also notice a significant difference in the quality of pictures posted here. I apologize in advance for the phone pictures, but I use them to show you moments that were not captured with the expensive cameras.

We planned our trip so that we would take the midnight flight to NY and then connect to Boston after a short layover. Our thinking was that this plan would put us in Massachusetts 6 or 7 hours earlier than the direct flight from SLC. We told ourselves that it wouldn't matter if we were exhausted. It was a good plan.. in theory...

The reality of it was that we were walking zombies on Thursday because we were all sleep deprived. Simple tasks became difficult and tempers were short. We were all irritated, hungry and exhausted by the time we had our rental car. I called Aunt Dottie to let her know we had arrived and would have to have some extended naps before we could function. She was as sweet as ever and I couldn't wait to see her after our beauty rest!

Beautiful photo taken by Carley from a moving vehicle as we made our way through Boston

Chipmunk Face Abby.. this was the official silly face of the trip!

Chipmunk Linzie

Our hotel was very accommodating and the staff was very kind to work with us when we decided we need a quick room switcheroo in order for the girls to have their needs met. After that, it was curtains closed and lights out! I think we slept for 3 hours solid before I pried my eyes open and nudged everyone awake. So much for those extra hours in Boston, it was then the same time of day it would have been if we had just caught the direct flight!

We were all rested and refreshed and properly giddy as we headed over to Aunt Dottie's place. I loved traveling Everett street, to Clapboard tree Street, to Milk street... *sigh* I felt like I was returning home! My girls loved walking up to her door, grinning with excitement over the moment that we had been waiting so long for. When I opened the door and saw that beautiful lady, I rushed over and hugged her so tightly! I have missed her so very much! Everyone followed me in and over the next few hours we made first-time introductions, visited, and enjoyed the wonderful hospitality of the perfect lady that I am so proud to know as my Great Aunt. Looking back now, my only regret for that entire trip (although it is a huge regret) is that I didn't do more for her while I was there.. I should have insisted on doing the dishes instead of giving in to Dottie's own insisting that I leave them where they were.. and the biggest regret of all is that I did not spend more time with her. I started to feel that we were overwhelming as a group and I never, ever want to impose on this lady that I love so much. Those precious hours we had with Aunt Dottie were perfect and wonderful... I hope to go back before too long and visit with her again.

I think we were all still suffering the effects of our midnight flight the night before because when we got back to our hotel rooms, we didn't even say a proper goodnight to each other.. we just stumbled into our beds and went right to sleep. It was seriously awesome sleep too! You know how good you sleep when you're happy and exhausted? Yeah, it was like that.

The next morning everyone woke up happy and refreshed. My Hubby had done his vacay thing and researched the best breakfast cafe in the area, so we headed off in search of the Brookside Cafe. We were not disappointed! We laughed as Hubby introduced Emily to coffee. I don't know how I feel about my little girl being a coffee drinker, but I was carried along on the happiness surging through our group, as helpless as a leaf in a stream.

After breakfast, the plan was to head to Duxbury to see John Alden's house. John Alden was my 10th great grandfather and I thought it would be special for the girls to tour the house like I did last fall with my mom and Aunt Dottie. We talked about the landscape as we drove; imagining what it was like 300+ years ago when our ancestors settled in the area. Little did we know, Carley had an eye problem developing that would soon become urgent. (There's always some kind of drama on our trips, dontchaknow?)

When we arrived at Alden House, they weren't open yet. We had a couple of hours to kill, so we decided to head down to Plymouth to see the Mayflower II and check out the shops. I was in charge of navigating, and you would think that would be a simple task with a GPS unit.. but I managed to get us lost anyway! It turned out to be a happy accident though, because we discovered the most beautiful bay and the coolest wooden bridge ever! We had a blast photographing the area!

It was at the bay that I first discovered Carley's urgent eye issue. She could not see out of her left eye. Her contact had, for reasons unknown, clouded over and she was in terrible pain. It is also very disconcerting to lose one's vision and Carley was in distress. Immediately I began looking for an optometrist nearby and calling Carley's eye doc back home to get some assistance. I desperately hoped for luck to be on our side. The first optometrist we tried was closed, but Abby quickly found another nearby. Carley and I walked into the quaint little office of Francis J. Aprea, and were so grateful to be somewhere that she could get help. By now, Carley was in so much pain that she had to take her contact out entirely. She was so upset as she sat there with her contact drying and curling up on her finger. I put on my best Mom hat and tried to comfort and reassure my girl. Dr. Aprea's kindness was beyond measure as he gave up his lunch hour to check Carley's eye. He seemed equally mystified as to the cause of the problem, but in the end he said it could be that Carley's eye makeup had gotten oil on the lens and she would have to get a new pair of contacts as well as stop wearing makeup for the time being. I thanked him over and over again for helping Carley and saving our vacation. He had been a little stern with us (understandably), but when I complimented his beautiful antiques (original Windsor chair, apothecary desk, and much more!) his demeanor softened and he sent us off with a genuine smile.

We met up with the rest of the family who had been touring the shops, and we put on our tourist caps as we prepared to exercise the plastic. We must have gone in at least ten different shops, but everyone left with special treasures to remember the trip to Plymouth. Carley seemed to be feeling better too, so the mood was great once again. We had spent more time in Plymouth than we originally intended, but we didn't mind. One of our strengths is being able to adapt to necessary change on our vacations. We just moved things around and made new plans.

That right there is Plymouth Rock. Do you believe it? The monument was impressive. The rock? Not so much.

We decided it was time to head back to Duxbury to see the Alden House. A guide met us in the gravel parking area and we walked up to the house together. It was a different experience than last year because the house wasn't covered in Halloween decor and we had someone telling us the history as we stepped into each room. I tried to imagine ten people sleeping in one room, smaller than my own master bedroom is now, and I couldn't fathom it! I love the old house and the work that went into it, but I know my family wouldn't fare well in a house with very little private space. I guess it's all what you're used to. I felt a sense of accomplishment as I photographed my daughters, John Alden's 11th generation great-granddaughters, in front of that historical home. We only had that day to tour the home before it closed for the season, and we had met that goal. I hope my girls loved it as much as I do!

The original plan was to head to Concord next, but due to the emergency earlier, it was quite late in the day by then. Hubby had his heart set on touring the Samuel Adams brewery while we were in Boston and he was pouting a bit over the thought of possibly missing the opportunity on Saturday. Why he didn't tell me all of that before, I will never know. Until that moment, I had no idea that Saturday wouldn't work for touring the brewery, so I thought all was fine. But we did what we do best, made some quick adjustments, and we were headed to Boston instead of Concord. Actually, it made more sense to hit Boston and then do Concord the next day, because Boston was closer at that point.

Touring the brewery was not my favorite event of the trip, it's Hubby's thing after all, but I do admit that it was kind of fun, and I loved how happy it made Hubby. While we were tasting the free brew (and I was dreaming of water.. rum.. anything other than beer!), the girls were nearby at a cafe, playing card games. They tell me they had a good time. I appreciate them being patient while Hubby got to do something of his own! Interesting note: Carley experienced the kindness of a stranger at that cafe. He approached them and asked if anyone was named Carley Penderquist. They were skeptical and probably a little afraid of this man, but Carley told him that was sort of her name. He then handed over her debit card that she had dropped in the parking lot when they exited the car. Thank you, Kind Stranger, for going out of your way to return something so important to my girl.

Knowing that it was unlikely that we would make it back to Boston on that trip, we then decided to hit Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market. This was the part that Carley was looking forward to the most, and I know my girlies love to shop, so I resigned myself to hours of intense shopping and just did my best to deal with it. (Around here, it's no secret that I am not a shopper. I would rather do almost anything else.. including touring a brewery!) We grabbed some awesome clam chowder from the Boston Chowda Co. and it was as tasty as I remember it being when I visited there with my mom, my sweet grandma, and my Aunt Dottie more than 5 years previously. I was exhausted from the day, and struggling to choke back the lump in my throat over the very strong memory of my grandma in that very location. I don't think anyone noticed me wiping away the tears... if they did, they didn't say anything to me. Maybe they knew where my heart and mind were at the time.

The shopping at Quincy Market is really only a blur to me now. I remember my feet screaming at me and I was so tired that I actually grabbed a micro-nap while sitting on the edge of a raised flower bed as my family watched some street dancers perform. There was some serious pep-rallies going on in my head by then. I had to encourage and nudge my every step, reminding myself how great it would feel to fall into bed soon. I think my favorite part was discovering an acoustic band, Cahill Music, playing for the crowd at Quincy Market. I am so happy I gave Emily the five dollars to get one of the CDs offered. We love this music! Be sure to click on their name above and then select "stream music" in the bottom right of their web page to listen to the music that now represents Quincy Market to us.

I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time at Quincy Market, but I'm also sure that everyone was exhausted by the time we climbed back into the rental car. We may or may not have been too tired to rid ourselves of the little spider climbing around on the vehicle's ceiling, but we were not too tired to be freaked out about the possibility of that rogue spider landing on our heads at any second. When we reached the hotel, people literally jumped out of the vehicle, so relieved that they would not be the next Little Miss Muffets.

Again, we fell into bed, thoroughly exhausted from our event-packed day!

We woke up on Saturday morning and Hubby had one thing on his mind. The Brookside Cafe. We had another fantastic breakfast, more coffee for the newly-addicted Emily, and then we were off to see Concord and the historic Old North Bridge.

The day was overcast and misty. I can't really say that it was raining because it was more like the misty Hawaii rain... except cold. The girls were enchanted by the scenery, just as I hoped they would be. It was complete photo gluttony as we gave our cameras a serious workout! Easily, my favorite pictures of the entire trip came from the Old North Bridge. I only wish I had my entire family there so I could say we had family pictures done there. Unfortunately, Hubby wasn't enjoying that stop as much as we were because he was busy being breakfast for the mosquitoes that only seemed to want him that day. The rest of us were not bothered by the pests at all.

After touring the Bridge and the Visitor's Center, we headed down the road for what I had been dreaming about for over a year. I was finally taking my Little Women to Louisa May Alcott's Orchard House. Walking through that house was surreal. A definite dream come true. I was in awe of how pristine the house and it's furnishings are! We walked through each room, visualizing the Alcott family in their everyday lives. It was exactly as I imagined it would be, and I was there with my besties. I could write for the rest of my life and still not be able to convey the honor I felt over being there with my girls. Again, this experience was lacking because Madi was not there with us. We will definitely go again so we can be complete! Visiting Orchard House was my second favorite activity of the entire trip. (Of course the absolute favorite part of the trip was visiting with Aunt Dottie!)

We reluctantly left Orchard House, new treasures in hand, and headed to Concord's main street so I could take my family to Mainstreets Market & Cafe, easily my favorite place to get delicious clam chowder and sit a spell. The cafe did not disappoint! We had the best chowder of the entire trip in that cozy little cafe. I love it so much that I could live there. Do you think they'd mind? More shopping followed, although we couldn't really afford much in those high end shops. I did get to visit my favorite bird sculpture in a seriously cool shop called Perceptions. My bird was still there, still beckoning for me to buy him and take him home. For some reason, I couldn't get my mind control working on Hubby so he'd want to buy it for me. *pout* But I did get to hold this beautiful bird (he was so heavy!) and I did fantasize about owning him (again). Maybe someday, Mr. Bird, some day.

Would you believe our day was once again disappearing on us? The mist was still falling, feet were sore, and we were all tired. Hubby had another quest to conquer though... Lobster! He was determined to eat fresh lobster while we were in New England. He chose a place near the shore, I can't honestly remember where now, but we piled in the vehicle and set off on a drive for the coast. Somewhere along the way, we decided to pull up Salem on Google Maps and we realized we were only two exits away. Salem. On October first. Uh.. Yes, please! I will be the first to tell you that Salem was nothing like I had pictured in my head. I guess I had quaint village with giant pumpkins in my mind. No way, no how! Salem is a fishing town that is now overrun with tarot card shops, pentagrams, and the most bizarre people I have ever seen! We had about 2.5 seconds in the visitor center before it closed (bummer), so we shuffled outside and followed the stream of weirdos down the street to ... can you guess? Another shopping district. We picked up a few more items, including my new favorite hoodie, and called it good. I like the idea of Salem, but the people were a little over the top for me. One guy had the entire top of his head tattooed and some horn implants on his forehead. He must have been sorely disappointed when he wasn't born a goat, and now he is trying to make up for it. I say a goat, because that's mostly what he looked like, even though I suspect he was shooting for something sinister. Whatevs.

By that time, our little detour had cost Hubby his coast town lobster dinner so he had to look for something local in Salem because it was getting late. He used his handy dandy smart phone and found The Black Lobster nearby. Big mistake. Huge! If I could only turn back the clock and refuse to walk in the place, I would. We were worried when the general manager told us he doesn't like seafood.. it still wasn't too late to walk out. But we stayed. Ugh and double ugh! If you're thinking of trying The Black Lobster for yourself, call me first so I can talk some sense into you. If that doesn't work, come over.. I will lock you in the closet until the urge passes. You don't want to visit this place. Capice? The food was cooked terribly, the kids didn't even like the pasta, and I ended up horribly sick all night. I felt like I was cursed, in Salem. But at least I have a snoogly hoodie!


On the way to Salem. Methinks some kiddos were tuckered out!

While we were waiting for a table in the most horrible restaurant ever, I checked our flight home the following day. I had scheduled it for the evening flight so I could spend time with Aunt Dottie before we left. As soon as I saw the listings, I knew we were in trouble. There was no way we would make it on that flight. I started looking for alternatives. The only choice we had was super early in the morning, with a layover in Atlanta, and even then it would be difficult to get us all on one flight. I knew we had a marathon day ahead of us, and because it was very late by then, and we had to be up by 5AM, I didn't even get to call Aunt Dottie to apologize for what must have seemed like we skipped out on her. My heart was broken.

Back at the hotel that night, we carefully packed and prepared for our early departure. I had the blues. Seriously. Stop laughing. I was bummed big time! I didn't want to leave, but I especially didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Dottie. There are not enough words in the world to describe how wonderful she is. I left my heart in Massachusetts. I really did.

Our marathon day was insane. We all managed to get on the plane out of Boston (to the stunned looks on the other passenger's faces as our big group was called up in front of everyone else that was waiting and we boarded before they did), but getting out of Atlanta was another story! We didn't make the first flight, only Carley made the second flight, then Abby and Linz made the third flight, and finally... Hubs, myself, and Emily made it on the last flight home. My mom was kind enough to pick Abby and Linzie up from the SLC airport (Love you, Mom! Thanks for taking care of my little girls), and we were all home and snug in our own beds by 2AM, twenty three hours after we began our exodus home.

The hotel elevator had mirrors on the ceiling. So we did what we do best... goofed off!

It wasn't the same magical trip that I had with Mom and Aunt Dottie last fall. On that trip we had the luxury of time and we spent so much of it with Dottie. This time it was a whirlwind trip and there was too much to do for such a short period of time. I loved the trip, but it left me wanting more..... I will just have to plan another trip as soon as I can afford it!

Massachusetts Post... Later Today

2011-10-18T09:51:00.001-06:00

It's coming... a monster huge post about our trip to Massachusetts. I plan on adding the pictures and finishing it up this afternoon, after I get back from completing my new hire paperwork at Delta Airlines.

...........................................

That's right, I got a new job and I'm so excited!!

Updates Are Coming

2011-10-03T08:23:00.005-06:00

We're home. A little battered from our Airport day yesterday, but at least we all made it. (Even if it took 20 hours and four planes!)

I left my heart in Massachusetts, with my sweet Aunt Dottie. We didn't have enough time with her. I wish I had insisted that we spend more time just being with her, everyone said many times that her house was their favorite part of the trip, but I was worried that the six of us were overwhelming.

Pictures and details coming later.

For DeLaina

2011-09-25T17:34:00.003-06:00

DeLaina, you really should stay off of my blog, and while you're at it, stay off of my daughter's blog also. It's actually sad how creepy you're being. Yes, we can track you and yes, we know you've been here.

Leaves Aren't The Only Things That Can Change

2011-09-22T12:32:00.000-06:00

Do you want to know what I am thinking about this time of year? September means so many wonderful things to me. My babies were born at the end of September. My favorite time of year begins in September. The kids have finally found their rhythm in school routines in September, which means the hectic start of school is behind us. It's time for fall haircuts in September. And happy pumpkins of all sizes and shapes begin to dot driveways and porches as people prepare for the witching season right around the corner. Blissful, right? I knew you'd agree!

But there's something else on my mind this beautiful fall morning. Something that happened to me at the very end of September / beginning of October eleven years ago. Much like the changing leaves, I was at a turning point in my life.. only it wasn't colorful and beautiful. Actually, it was a very sad and confusing time for me. You might be wondering why I am thinking about a sad time when my favorite season is underway and bursting to pop from summer green to Skittles-colored happiness. It's mostly because a video camera showed up at our house recently... and when I say showed up, I really mean that I hunted it down on Ebay and paid WAY too much for the little sucker that is antiquated, clunky and hopefully won't break anytime soon. This Super 8 video camera has opened doors in my past that I slammed shut rather firmly... and then added in a bunch of nails and concrete barriers just for extra protection. It took eleven years for me to get over the hurt that was so normal for me back then, and this week it has all come rushing back at me as those previously sealed-off memories come flooding back in the form of miles and miles of videotape.

Don't get me wrong.. I have loved seeing my little babies and toddlers again. Oh how I ache to squeeze their little bodies and cover their plump baby cheeks with kisses as I stroke their downy soft hair... *sigh* Those little babies were (and still are) everything to me.. even though they aren't quite little babies anymore. But a funny thing happened while I was watching the recorded moments of a seemingly happy past. I felt anxious, nervous, and even scared on the inside. I kept feeling like I needed to get up and leave. I was genuinely uncomfortable as I saw my former self moving around like a robot... I was dieing on the inside and no one knew it. I am grateful I had 5 beautiful anchors to hold onto during those hard times. My girls alone kept me going long enough to get to the end of September, eleven years ago.

I know people don't usually talk about their darkest days. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. It's just been on my mind so much this week that I can't ignore it. Eleven years ago I couldn't see a future for myself. I was lost and I felt completely alone. I knew my marriage was essentially over, but what would I do with five little girls? I couldn't possibly support them on my own and I felt hopelessly stuck. It didn't help that I had three recent back surgeries and had to quit the pain medication cold turkey, against doctor's advice. I'm not kidding when I say that life was bleak back then. Thank heavens for my little girls who gave me every reason to keep going.

Just as the leaves were starting to change color, so did my life. Out of nowhere came someone who, unbeknownst to me, would give me the courage to turn everything around. It wasn't over night.. in fact, the complete change took years to carry out.... but it was just what I needed when everything else (except for my girls) had failed me.

This man came into my life and didn't sugar coat anything. He told me straight out how ridiculous it was for me to keep living a lie. He tried his very best to teach me that I deserved better and that I was the only one who could make the necessary changes to find happiness again. And do you know what I did for him in return? I put him through hell. I'm not even kidding. I was such a mess that I didn't understand what I was doing, and I regret it now, but I had no concept of normal at that point in my life. But he gave me the kick-start I needed.

I didn't like the hard truths he told me about my life. I reacted harshly to his observations and criticisms. I wanted to pretend that things weren't as bad as he thought, but somewhere deep down I felt the truth and the change had already started.

It hasn't been an easy road. I won't get into the details of it all, but it was a lot like being plopped down in Asia and having no language skills. I faltered and stumbled many times along the way. I had to discover who I was and make the changes to be the person I wanted to become... (That one's a constant work in progress.) There have been growing pains and a lot of tears along the way. There have been a few impressive shouting matches along the way as well. But I like to think those were all opportunities for growth.. and thank goodness my girls are patient and understanding with their mama!

Eleven years is a long time... I've been lucky to have someone by my side who has encouraged me to cast off the wimp in me and be brave and strong. I now know that I can do hard things. I know that he won't let me get away with feeling sorry for myself or not trying... and I both love and get annoyed with him for that. Eleven years ago I met my best friend during the darkest days of my life and I've now been married to him for eight of those eleven years. What a journey it has been!

I love fall for so many reasons, but today I love it because it represents the change in me that began at the end of September, eleven years ago. Thanks for believing in me, hon.

Overwhelmed With A Serious Case of Giddiness!

2011-09-09T13:11:00.001-06:00

Last night I booked our hotel rooms in Norwood, Massachusetts. I also booked two Dodge Charger rental cars. Believe it or not, for a group our size, two cars are cheaper than one! Today I listed us on our flights and contacted the kind people at John Alden's house to see if a visit there would be possible. (It is, but just barely.. they close for the season on October 1st!)

It's so close, I can almost taste it!

Now what I need.. what I'm hoping and praying for... is that the flights will be kind to us. I love it that we get to fly for free, but every year it gets harder for us to make it on flights. It would be devastating to spend the money on lodging and rental cars only to get stuck at home or at the Atlanta airport.

Cross your fingers for us?

I cannot wait to pull up in the parking lot and see this beautiful sight! We're coming, Dottie! (We will try to keep from overwhelming you. At this point it is Me, Bill, Abby, Linzie, Emily and Carley. We are hoping Ashley can also join us and we plan on taking you out to dinner at least once during our visit!)

We're Going!!

2011-09-02T09:21:00.002-06:00

Have I told you lately how wonderful my Hubs is? In case you haven't been reading previous posts, let me tell you that I am married to my best friend... which means that he regularly makes me crazy, frustrates the hell out of me and I often scratch my head in confusion over some of his "Big Ideas." But that's all part of loving this man of mine, because he also is incredibly tender with my girls and even though he might not show it outwardly every day, I know he loves me.

He recently stepped up to the plate to show me, once again, how much he cares for me and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for what he is about to do.. Remember this post? Hubby could see how devastated I was over not being able to save the cash to go to Boston to see my dear aunt Dottie. He knows how much this special lady means to me and he wanted to make sure I didn't have to give up the precious opportunity to go visit her... so he generously offered to pay for the trip!

Believe me, if I wasn't old and busted, I'd be doing cartwheels right now! Boston! Dottie! A dream come true!

I can't wait to see this beautiful lady again!

We only have a few days that we can take off of work and school, but I will take what I can get. We're coming, Dottie! I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!!

(I love you, baby. Thank you so much for making my dream a reality.)

Round and Round We Go.. Where My Girls Are... I Sure As Heck Don't Know!

2011-09-01T17:07:00.001-06:00

When I was a little girl, I remember standing outside with my arms stretched out on either side of me and my face aimed up toward the sun as I spun in circles until I couldn't stand up anymore. To my little barefoot self, that was the greatest feeling in the whole. wide. world! Fast forward thirty five years and would you believe me if I told you that my grown up self has that dizzy, which-way-is-up feeling but without the joy of spinning?

Let me explain...

My oldest girls started college recently. My middle girl is a senior in high school. My youngest girls are at the beginning of their very last year of junior high. In addition, the three oldest girls all have jobs and I never, I repeat, NEVER have any idea when they will be home or at school or off gallivanting with their hormone-driven friends.

Please cue the maniacal merry-go-round music and put it on fast forward, because I'm pretty sure this crazy ride's one I won't be getting off of anytime soon. Pass the Dramamine while you're at it. Please and thankyaverramuch!

My little girls aren't so little anymore. I know I sound like a broken record, but when the heck did they grow up and who said they could do that anyway? I mentioned to Hubby today that I'm not so certain I will handle the "empty nest syndrome" very well... his response? "Are you kidding me? That's when you and I will start vacationing all the time!"

I may not get to see them face-to-face quite as often these days, but thank heavens we all have text messaging to keep in touch!

And for the record... you will always be my little girls.

Dreams vs. Reality

2011-08-24T22:01:00.000-06:00

I have been saving my money for something special for a while now. It hasn't been easy to tuck away a few dollars here and there, but I had a grand idea.. a truly wonderful, beautiful idea, and it was worth every hard-earned dollar!

A few months ago, I decided I was going to pick a few days in September or October and take my girls to Massachusetts to see our precious Aunt Dottie and, if we were lucky, drive out to Louisa May Alcott's house to take a picture of my little women in front of this green door:

I absolutely ache to see Dottie again and I grew more and more excited over my wonderful idea as the saved money stash began to show actual promise of this dream becoming a reality.. But you know what they say, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

It would appear that Life has happened to my little stash of money. It started out innocent enough.. someone needed last minute school supplies or maybe help with gas money. Then when school started this week, suddenly there were class supplies and extra fees that we hadn't counted on. USB drives had to be purchased, printer paper, ink, and SD cards for cameras, and the list goes on. I had to have the girls write down all their extra fees just so I wouldn't forget!

Before I knew it, that little nest of money that was carefully put aside for The Trip had all but vanished. Like a spoiled child, Life had gotten its own way again.

I'm sad. Truly sad. I wanted so badly to take a little trip to see Dottie. I wanted my girls to see Dottie, and for Dottie to see my girls. The dream was so close, I could almost smell the crisp autumn air of Massachusetts. Now, I don't think I can save up that trip money in time... but I console myself with the knowledge that I was able to get my girls the supplies they needed and for that I'm grateful.

Dottie, we will keep trying. Hopefully this little setback won't delay this dream for too long. We really want to come see you!

Happy Birthday, Aunt Dottie!!

2011-08-14T08:37:00.002-06:00

Today is my beautiful, great aunt Dottie's birthday! Words have not yet been invented to describe how much I love this extraordinary lady. Dottie lives in Massachusetts, so I don't get to see her very often, but she is in my thoughts every single day. When I think of Dottie, I hear her melodious laughter which lifts my heart, I see her beautifully delicate hands which remind me so much of my sweet Grandmother, and just the thought of Dottie makes me smile. Beautiful lady, I hope you are having the very best day because you deserve every wonderful thing life has to offer! I love you oh so much!

I "borrowed" this picture from Facebook. I am so envious of everyone who was able to spend that special day with Dottie! Love you, Aunt Dottie!

Never Enough Time - Enjoy Every Moment We're Given

2011-07-30T12:27:00.001-06:00

I'd love to tell you that I've been away on some fantastic vacay, but the truth is plain-vanilla boring. I've been here, concussed and foggy- but more or less here, doing the normal every day living. I go to work, I come home and say hello to whatever girlies happen to be home at the time, and I complain about the dogs. Normal... Boring!

(Except for the day at Pineview with my besties and the adventure of FIVE of the girls getting pulled over by the water police.. but that's a story for another day!)

During those rare, quiet moments.. I think about my life and how lucky I am to be where I am, surrounded by my favorite people on the planet. It's getting harder and harder to catch time with my lovelies as they get older and their lives, which have been somewhat pliable up until this point (think Play-Dough pliable and you'll get my meaning), have suddenly taken on a more concrete form... a form in which I'm more of a supporting actress, or extra, instead of the lead.

Wow... did any of that make sense? If not then let's go ahead and blame the concussion since that excuse is really working for me lately.

My point is that my girls are growing up. Their lives are becoming their own and I find myself more and more on the fringes... trying to understand this new way of life and what it means for my family. It's hard to let go. I have nurtured and cared for these little creatures their whole lives.. I've known where they were almost every minute.. and now I find that sometimes entire days pass by without communication with one or more of my girls. Ouch and double ouch.

Just yesterday I was driving past the high school when I noticed a strikingly familiar red Jeep parked in the otherwise empty lot. I wondered out loud if that was my Emily's Jeep parked there and then I was amazed that I had no idea where my girls were at that point in time. Wow. Just.. wow. Turns out it was Emily's Jeep and she was there goofing off with friends. But the point is that my little ones have grown up and are running their own lives more and more.

I need to find a way to make this difficult adjustment.

Hubby and I were talking last night about how we need to figure this new lifestyle out soon because the frantic pace of trying to keep up with everything is wearing us out! While I don't like the idea of accepting the splintered family evenings, I don't see much of a choice. Just the other day, we went up to the reservoir and had to swallow the bitter pill of leaving one of the girls behind because she had to work. It broke my heart. I want to ask my mom how she coped with this teenager-turning-adult transition? How do I let go of all the group activities and routines that I have carefully nurtured for 19 years now? It's not going to be easy!

For now, I am grateful to get what time I can with my family. This summer we have had wonderful moments of family barbecues, playing with the new watercraft, birthday parties and other backyard get togethers... but there haven't been nearly enough for my liking because we are also busy working our separate jobs, going our separate ways....

Slow down, Life... Give me more time to treasure these precious days with my family.

Breaking in the new Waverunners:

Our Summer Garden:

The screens, antique gardening tools and antique ladder all belonged to my beloved grandparents who also loved gardening.

Oh, Hi! What have YOU been up to?

2011-07-14T10:19:00.004-06:00

The doctor's exact words were, "You've definitely been concussed. We need to get a scan of your brain and we should probably x-ray that elbow too." If I hadn't been feeling like crap, I'm sure I could have come up with something witty to say... but the problem is that my wits seem to have taken an extended vacation. As in, I live in a dense fog these days where thinking is nearly impossible and my family members give me funny looks that seem to say, "Oh that poor woman. It's sad that she sounds so crazy."

Two days ago, while doing my normal household chores, I slipped on a video game case and took a tumble down some stairs, whacking the back of my head so hard that I forgot some fairly important things. (Where I work, for example.) As the day went on, my symptoms got worse and worse.. until I was feeling so horrible that I wanted to find a nice doctor to make me feel better. I wasn't asking for much.. I didn't expect anyone to make me feel great, or to erase the angry, purple and black bruise from my elbow (Hubby says it looks like I hit a train with my elbow) .. I was just desperate for the pressure in my head to ease up, for the nausea to subside, and for the freakin fog to lift from my muddled thoughts. No such luck though. All the doctor could do was reassure us that there was no bleeding in my noggin and then slap us with the news that this could take 6 weeks to recover from. Seriously??

Yesterday was beyond rough. Severe pain, dizziness, nausea, and very confused thoughts. Tears of frustration were constant, but throughout it all, my sweet family took such loving care of me. I'm a lucky girl. Hubby timed and brought me my meds and he even drilled a hole in my water bottle cap so that a straw would fit just right, making it easier to sip from bed - Madi and Emily went out and bought dinner which Madi later cooked and cleaned up after - Carley, Linzie and Abby checked on me frequently, attending to my every need. So if you have to have a concussion, my house is a pretty good place to spend your recovery time.. just sayin'!

The trick now is to "ride it out" without getting overly frustrated. There's so much I want to be doing... spending time with my family and gardening, of course, is right up there at the top. But I can't be up and about quite yet because of the dizziness. Interestingly, I can't watch television either. My eyes won't track the images on the screen and my brain has difficulty interpreting what is going on. They tell me that the recovery period is 6 weeks... SIX WEEKS! Yikes.

I'm so grateful to my family for taking such good care of me. I'm lucky to be surrounded by loving girls and my Hubby (who can be a butthead at times, but really comes through when I need him!). Now I just need my noggin-jello to heal so that I can feel normal again. Normal? What's that??

"When we wanted what we never had, we did what we'd never done." Class of 2011

2011-06-27T06:27:00.002-06:00

My timing on this post gets a ginormous FAIL. I know I have been promising to sit down and do this for weeks and weeks now.. you just wouldn't understand how taxing it is on me to never get two days off in a row anymore. There's never enough time to get anything done!

Anyway...

Back to the day in question... My babies were graduating from High School. I'm not even kidding! How did these little ones grow up in the blink of an eye? It seems like one minute Madi was gibbering "tappy tappy tappy" all day long and Carley was asking me to braid her long, curly locks. Sigh... If only I could go back and play with those dear little ones again. It would be magical, to be sure!

On June 2nd, 2011, Carley did not ask me to braid her hair.. and although I'm sure there was gibbering of some sort in our house that day, it wasn't Madi's childhood trademark, "tappy, tappy, tappy." Instead, I think I did most of the gibbering, and by the way things were not getting done, I think it's safe to say that I was gibbering to myself. ;) I was almost ready to leave when I took one look at the girls' graduation gowns and knew there was no way I was letting them walk in those wrinkled messes! So I whipped out the iron as quick as you please, and declared war on those wrinkles! Have you ever stopped to consider how slippery those gowns are? Keeping the gowns on the ironing board was a lot like wrestling a bathtub full of eels. Good thing Madi was there to lend a hand!

Ironed gowns in hand, the two graduates headed off for the college campus while I urged the others to hurry. I was somewhat amazed that they weren't ready yet since they had all been told what time we needed to leave. I desperately tried to keep my stress under control so that the day could be appreciated and enjoyed properly. We were a little later getting out the door than I had planned, but it would have been so much worse if Hubby hadn't stepped in to be helpful by taking Linz to get the stockings she needed. (I'm grateful for Hubby's errand running skills!)

As we drove to the event center for the graduation, I finally had time to think about what it was we were doing. I suddenly felt as if I had swallowed a basketball. My throat tightened up and I found it difficult to breathe. It wasn't long before the stinging in my eyes signaled the onset of the official graduation sob-session. (even now I feel the threat of tears in my eyes just writing this!) My little girls have grown up. How long before they don't need me at all?

When I graduated, I hit the road running. To be fair, I was an extremely rebellious teen. A lost, confused and very angsty teen. I was glad to be rid of high school, and I vowed to never look back. I still haven't been to even one reunion.. just in case you were wondering. See, in terms of my teenage years, my buddy Stephen King said it best: "If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you." I totally agree! totally!

(How about you stay on topic and get back to the story, Nicole?)

It's entirely possible that the reason I worry about my little chickies flying the coop too soon is because that is what I did. I don't want them rushing head first into adulthood before they have the skills and armor they need to be successful. I winged it.. and I did a not-so-great job of it for many years. I want more for my girls.. doesn't every parent?

So there we were, stuck in a graduation ceremony traffic jam, and I was bawling. Not sentimental quiet tears either. Oh no! I was rocking the big, ugly, sob cry that never looks good on anyone. My heart, the heart of a mother who aches to keep her little ones little, was breaking even though it was a wonderful, happy occasion. So as I sniffled and sobbed, Hubby and my other girls were laughing at me as we all hoped I could get it together before we took our seats.

After wandering around the event center, trying to find the perfect seats, we finally connected with my mom and dad... and we just happened to have the perfect seats to be as close as we could get to Carley and Madi. I'd like to be able to tell you the waterworks had stopped by then, but as we took our seats, the piano theme song to "Man From Snowy River" started playing and I lost it all over again. You see, that beautiful piano music always makes me think of my Sweet Grandma... and I know that She knows it. Call me silly, but I believe that was her way of letting me know she was there to share the girls' special day.

Watching my beautiful girls walk in to the building and take their seats, I could not have been more proud. My mind replayed the many years of classroom holiday parties, school carnivals, late night homework sessions, fabulous report cards, book reports, school picture day, parent teacher conferences and more. Where did the time go?? My girls each had wonderful academic accomplishments and they managed to steer clear of the pitfalls that many teenagers fall into during their high school years. They are everything I always wanted to be and more!

I held my Hubby's hand throughout the ceremony, and we ate licorice that my mom brought (she always has goodies with her!) and we snapped what pictures we could to remember the occasion. Once again, Carley and Madi were first. Our first girls have graduated with honors and I am mighty proud. Next year it is Emily's turn, and the year after that it will be Ashley.. then we take a year off before Abby and Linzie graduate. Wow.. I feel like my life is on fast forward!

Congratulations, my sweet girlies! You did it!

Oh The Drama Of Turning 40!

2011-06-12T14:05:00.000-06:00

I promised myself that I would sit down this morning and update this blog before I began my day. My schedule is so hectic lately that I rarely have time for myself so if I don't make a firm commitment to update here then... well, as you've probably already noticed... it just doesn't get done.

Here we go..

Let's back up to the last few days of May and the first few days of June. I was still adjusting to a new rhythm of life working for Google. My day starts ridiculously early and I don't get two days off in a row. (I know, it kinda sucks) Memorial Day happened to be on my birthday this year and I was stunned to see that it was snowing when I left for work. Snowing! On May 30! Shenanigans! I headed off to work and tried not to think of my family all snug in their beds at home, and about how I would miss the grave visiting this year because of work. But my girls had surprised me the night before with movie tickets to see Kung Fu Panda 2 and since animated movies have become a tradition for us on my birthday, I had something to look forward to all day even if I was bummed that Hubby had to work on my birthday. (Our schedules are opposite.. he's in bed when I go to work, he's gone to work when I get home, and I'm in bed when he gets home.. no bueno.)

I went straight to the theater after work. My girlies were meeting me there for the movie and I was looking forward to seeing them all. Ashley had flown in from Atlanta that afternoon and I hadn't even seen her yet. It wasn't long before we were all seated (nearly front row) in a theater packed with a gazillion crying, talking, laughing, chair-kicking little kids. Let the festivities begin! Actually, I kept looking toward the aisle because I was sure the girls were going to surprise me and have Hubby show up late to the movie.. but he never came. I swallowed that disappointment and enjoyed the movie with my girls. Seriously, I really did enjoy it. Skadoosh!

After the movie, some of the girls went in one car while Ashley and Abby came with me in my Jeep. I noticed a paper on my windshield from the police, admonishing me for leaving my purse on the front seat. I felt properly chastised and did a quick search to make sure everything was there. It wasn't. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I realized that my wallet was not in my purse. I had Abby text Hubby to see if he had taken it out when he went to the store the previous day, but he wasn't answering messages.

I drove home stressed and quiet. It had been barely one year ago that my wallet was stolen and I had to recreate my identity. I did not want to go through all of that again. I pulled into the driveway and the garage door opener would not work. Last December one of the springs broke and I had to pay $200 to get it repaired so the door would open again. Great. Had another spring snapped on my birthday? I felt like I was the one who would soon snap.

As I approached the front door, I noticed that all the blinds were closed...... then I heard giggles.... then I noticed the car across the street looked familiar. The realization came slowly, but I was pretty certain by then that my house was full of people. (Shenanigizers!) I put on a brave face and stepped up to the door. SURPRISE! Just as I thought, the house was full of family and friends... and cutely decorated. It took me a moment to drink it all in. I saw this massive, beautiful cake on the buffet table in the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye, I saw my sweetheart sitting in his favorite rocking chair. He didn't have to work afterall! I was speechless.

I have never been an overly social person. I tend to keep to myself... you know, the one who stands off to the side, casually observing the scene? Yep, that's me. Finding myself the center of attention was uncomfortable, but I did my best to manage a smile and thank everyone for being so generous with their time and talents. But remember the wallet? Yes, it was still missing and the pit in my stomach just got colder by the minute.

The gifts I was given were so very thoughtful.. and I cried in front of everyone as I opened a delicate notebook filled with my Sweet Grandma's handwriting. It was her account of our trip to Boston years ago. What a treasure it is to read her thoughts of that special time we shared. Even now I choke up at the thought of it. I will never get over the emptiness left in me when she passed away. Oh how I miss her!

Hubby was working hard to dish up the enchiladas, bean dip and guacamole he had prepared for our guests, but by then he also knew the wallet was missing and I could see the worry etched on his face. I had called the store to see if my wallet had been turned in but no luck. It was gone. I will always feel badly about how the missing wallet overshadowed the hard work that my girls and other family members had put in for weeks to throw me a surprise party. I wish I could have a do-over. My darling Linzie even went down to her room in tears. She said it was the worst thing that could ever happen. I held her in my arms and assured her that a missing wallet was just a thing that could be replaced. My family are the most precious things in the world to me and as long as I have them then I haven't lost anything. I held her hand and brought her back to the party.

I'm a party wrecker... I'm ashamed to admit that. My mood brought everyone down and although I can't change it now, I did learn a valuable lesson from it. No matter what, make sure that the people around you feel appreciated and give them their moment to shine. I took the shine from my girls that day with the wallet drama and I wish I could take it all back.

After all the guests had gone, Hubby said he wanted to go to the store to look for the wallet himself. I had already cancelled my cards and I knew the odds of finding it were zero, but it was still my birthday. My 40th birthday. I told him I would ride with him so I could spend a few more moments with my favorite people before I had to go to bed and rest up for work early the next morning.

The girls and I were barefoot so we waited in the Durango while Hubby went in the store. I thanked them over and over for being such thoughtful girls. I truly loved all they had done for me. But the sadness was still there.. under the surface. Stupid wallet! As Hubby returned to the Durango with his head hung low, I was grateful that he had tried. I felt so loved by my family that day! I knew he felt bad so I reassured him it was just "stuff" and that it would all be fine. That's when he grinned.

With great flourish, he pulled his hand from behind his back and TA DA! There was my wallet! The same store that had told me hours earlier that there was no wallet turned in actually had it the whole time! The joyful cheers filled the Durango and Hubby was a hero. (I still tease him that he lost it on purpose so he could pull off a surprise of his very own!)

By the time I went to bed that night, I was so exhausted. I had experienced the full range of emotions that day and I couldn't take it all in. I will probably always feel apologetic about my 40th birthday surprise party... I did kinda ruin it you know... But I'm certain it will be one that we will never forget!

Thank you everyone who came to celebrate (Sorry for the drama) and thank you to Stephanie Randquist for making such a yummy, exquisite cake! Thanks most of all to my sweet girlies, Hubby, favorite sis and my mom for working so hard on something special just for me. You are all the best and I am so very lucky to have you in my life!

Coming up later this week.... the story of my babies' graduation. Can you believe it?!

Enjoy these pictures of the pre birthday preparations... not a lot of pics were taken of the actual party, but trust me, we enjoyed being together!

My cute girls sneaked off on a Saturday to make cupcakes at Grandma's house with Aunt Missy!

Movie tickets, gummy cokes and Red Bull.. They knew they had to keep me awake through the movie!

I was given a Kindle with a giftcard for books (yay!), a beautiful necklace with all my girls' names and birthstones, and a precious journal that was my Sweet Grandmother's.

How amazing is this cake that my former sister-in-law was kind enough to make for me? It was super delicious too!

Life-Changing Week

2011-05-28T09:35:00.000-06:00

It's a big week for my family. The week stretched out in front of us ushers in a new chapter in our lives and I'll be the first to admit it's a little scary because I have become quite comfortable in my mothering role as it has been for the past 19 years.

That's all about to change.

My little ones are all grown up. It seems to have happened quite suddenly. My mommy brain tells me that only last week I was holding Carley's and Madi's little hands as they waited for the school bus to pick them up for their first day of kindergarten. That memory is so bright and vivid... where did the years go?

This week, my very first little girls are graduating from high school. I know! I can hardly believe it myself! They will walk with their peers, draped in their school colors and wearing the honor cords that represent their years of hard work and sacrifice. They will fret over balancing their caps and they will secretly practice the tassel switch until they have it mastered for their ceremony on Thursday. (Not to worry, girls! It's a tiny thing to move the tassel from one side of your cap to the other.)

Throughout the whole thing, they won't be able to see the tears streaming down their mother's face... they won't feel the ache in my heart as is swells with pride (and a tiny hint of sorrow) as I watch them take this next step in their lives. My little girls won't know that I will sit there replaying every moment of their lives from their first little cries to their most recent gut-laughter over something utterly silly and wonderful. I will squeeze the hand of my Hubby.. the one who has patiently fathered them all these years and helped shape them into the beautiful women they are today. Even though he might think my tears are silly sentiment, he will lovingly support me and undoubtedly tease me about it later. (It's what he does and we love him for it.)

I can't help it, I'm a tender-heart and my babies are going to walk across a stage and forever cross into adulthood this week. There will be many, many tears. I'm so proud of them! I'm pretty sure I will be imagining their tiny selves drowning in graduation gowns that are much too big for them. And when they look at me and smile, I will wonder how those little, five year old girls could possibly be graduating. I better stock up on tissues!

Congratulations on your graduation, my precious girls!

Gardening Soothes The Soul

2011-05-23T07:29:00.000-06:00

My life has been a hectic mess lately! I have been working for Google full time and I've been sick. :( I know, I know! I could use a break, seriously! I wrote this post a week ago but only now found the time to add the pictures and post it. Forgive me if there are spelling or grammar mistakes, for I haven't had time to proofread.

(Dottie, I miss you, Sweet Lady! I keep thinking I need to write to you and I absolutely need to make the time to do so. I think about you every day and hope that you are well and happy. I love you so much!)

Now for the belated post:

First let me say that all of the photos seen in this post belong to my fabulous Carley. She is a very talented photographer and I am so grateful that she takes her camera along for the ride when I am too busy to take pictures or have forgotten to bring my own camera along on our adventures.

As I mentioned yesterday, the weekend was full of blooming happiness. Each year, one of our favorite springtime activities is to head to our local nursery where we brave the insane crowds to claim our colorful prizes which will adorn our dirt patches all summer long. I know there are kids out there who cringe over the idea of yard work (I was one of them) but my girls love getting their hands dirty as they help me carefully plan and plot how our gardens will look each year. It just wouldn't be summer without our sitting garden and our brightly colored flower pots dotting the deck like icing on a cake.

You have to get up early to get to the nursery before the mobs of people show up. When I say early, I mean you need to be there the night before and have your parking space staked out. We didn't do that this year. In fact, flowers were not even on my weekend to do list.. it was a last minute decision and we paid for it too because the crowds were in full-on crazy mode by the time we got there. The trick to scoring a parking space when you're a latecomer is to have multiple sets of eyes scanning for people loading their sweet-smelling treasures into their vehicles. Once the target vehicle begins to reverse, it is absolutely vital to pull in as quickly as possible, all the while pretending not to notice the angry mobs that mistakenly thought they had a chance at the same parking space.

As the girls and I piled out of the Durango, I felt a strange, yet familiar sensation washing over me... I felt giddy and it's a darn good thing I don't play poker because I couldn't have squashed my smile if my life had depended on it! I was in my happy place and we were about to go shopping for flowers. J&J Nursery is my drug and I am hopelessly addicted. I won't ever give it up, so don't even think about trying a 12 step program on me! AND.... my girls have the same addiction as I do, so two carts are a necessity!

Are there enough exclamation points in this post to properly convey the excitement of the day? I hope so!

When I say that we shopped until we ran out of cart space, I am not exaggerating! In fact, I think Abby might have even been balancing a flower pot or two on her head as we carefully navigated the crowded greenhouses, only slightly aware of impending doom at the cash register. As the cute check out girls began the process of unloading and scanning each and every flower we had gathered, I began to wonder what the heck I was thinking... This was going to cost a lot of money and I would certainly have some s'plaining to do!

We quickly realized that two carts full of flowers would never fit in a Durango that needed to haul five people as well. I was laughing as I pulled out the cell phone to call Hubby to our rescue. It's a good thing we just live down the street from the nursery and Hubby was able to hop in the Jeep and come pick up the girls that I no longer had room for. It isn't like I would choose the flowers over the girls.... but had Hubby not been available, I knew I could leave the girls there and come back for them later if I had to, right? Right?? (I'm not sure Emily would have even noticed being left behind.. we had to drag her out of there! She was so busy snapping picture after happy picture.)

We spent the rest of the day digging and planting, arranging and admiring. It was wonderful! I love our annual garden planting day! :) More importantly though, I love time spent with my family. I am so blessed to be surrounded by my best friends who, luckily for me, happen to enjoy hanging out and helping.

Since we planted our flowers, it has rained, non-stop for over a week! I was able to take a peek at the flowers the other day and I am amazed over how well they are doing. I can't wait until the warm weather comes to stay so that we can enjoy our gardens every day.

Still here.. I promise!

2011-05-15T22:20:00.000-06:00

So it has been a crazy couple of weeks! Hubby was gone to Atlanta for training (and he had my laptop with him) and I started a new job, working for Google. I spend every day cramming like it is the most intense final of my life. And I come home brain-fried. So the blog has suffered because of my schedule, but I'm hoping to post some updates this week because there's been fun stuff going on... specifically, the planting of my garden and flower pots. Yay!

Keeping Busy

2011-05-05T19:38:00.000-06:00

Hubby is still out of town. My work-horse guy is stuck in a hotel room every evening and he is going stir-crazy! And last night I slept with the lights on because the bed seemed even more empty to me in the dark. But here's the crazy part... we have talked more in the last few days than we have in a long, long time! He's a captive audience on the other end of that cell phone and he is actually listening to the things I say. Maybe his boredom isn't a completely bad thing after all! It's still hard to be without him though. I miss his warmth at night, the feel of his foot searching for mine as we both drift off to sleep, and the comfort he brings by taking such good care of our home and our family. He will be home for one day (hopefully) this weekend and then back to Atlanta to finish his air-bus training. I am looking forward to some great snuggles over the weekend!

(I seriously need to try to remember all of these sweet, gooey-sentimental things once he is back home every day and wearing on my nerves!)

In spite of me pining for my sweetheart, the girls and I have managed to keep busy every day. I am grateful for busy schedules that have kept me occupied and having fun while Hubby is away. Baby showers, photo shoots, even a visit to the Federal Building to finally change my last name on my social security card... busy days meant the sting of missing Hubby was a little less.

The other day, the girls and I headed out to take some portraits. We have been taking their pictures seasonally, and we had hoped for some great spring pictures to add to the collection for Carley's and Madi's senior pictures. I had scouted out a great location the day prior so all we had to do was show up and hope the rain clouds kept their distance! Okay... that AND hope that we didn't get arrested for ignoring the "No Trespassing" signs on the historic train bridge! We had a blast! The pictures look great, we had an incredibly fun time, and the only people who stopped near the bridge were factory workers that stopped to shout out their truck windows how cute they thought the pictures were going to turn out. Fun Fun!

As it turns out, taking the pictures is only half of the fun. We then came home to look through the 690 pictures on my camera alone and then the editing process began. We each have different ideas about how we want the pictures to look, so one pose can end up looking completely different depending on who does the editing. Here are a few of my favorites so far:

Linzie Savanna

Carley M'Lyssa

Emily Nicole

Linzie Savanna


Abby Julia

Abby Julia

Carley M'Lyssa

Linzie Savanna

Emily Nicole

Carley M'Lyssa

Linzie Savanna

I'm just getting started on editing Madi's pictures. I told her I want her to wear her hair down so I can get pictures of her hair also.. She has a super busy schedule but hopefully I can get her to cooperate this weekend!

Catherine Madison

We had so much fun and we have so many great pictures! These are just a sampling of the wonderful images we captured that night. I adore my girlies and I am so grateful to them for helping me keep my mind off of missing Hubby this week. Now if I could just get brave enough to sleep without the lights on then I'd really be making progress!

My best friend, Hubby himself, is coming home tomorrow! I am so excited to see him and love him to pieces.. even if it is only for 36 hours or so... and then he goes back to Atlanta for one more week. We can do this!

1,862.12 Miles Between Us

2011-05-01T19:05:00.000-06:00

My heart hurts. I know people do this every day. I know so many couples have it so much worse than I do. But the thing is... I don't do well without him. I bawled all the way home from the airport after dropping him off. Ouch! I miss his snuggles, his kisses and hugs. I miss his laugh and the way he teases the girlies. I'm terrified something will break while he's gone and then what will I do?? I need my best friend here with me. I hate the thought of crawling into our bed alone... Hurry home baby. I love you!

I'm counting down the time until I see him again.

11 Days

281 Hours

16864 Minutes

More than 1,000,000 seconds

Not fair, Delta.... Not fair.

Waiting For Spring

2011-04-28T15:16:00.004-06:00

When I can't sleep at night because my heart is hurting or my mind is busy worrying, the only comfort I have is my five girls. These girls are everything to me - the five anchors that keep me going and remind me (on those occasions when I think I can't possibly keep going) that there is unconditional love to be found.. I have that from my girls and I am so grateful for each and every one of them!

Another joy in my life is gardening. Two years ago I followed some bad advice and put some harsh compost in my garden and it's never been the same since. (Insert huge sad face here) Although the results are somewhat discouraging these days, I still love to plant things in the earth and do my best to get them to grow. Last Friday was Earth Day. Did you know that? I celebrated the planet by prepping and planting some spring crops in my veggie garden and by cleaning out my beloved sitting garden. Don't think I did this without any help though! Hubby and the girls were there to help me with all of it and it was a very satisfying day!

I can't wait until it is warm enough to start putting in some lovely annual plants to make this garden burst with color!

Saturday was busy busy! We had made plans to go to Mom's to color Easter eggs with Missy and Ella, but it was also Prom day for Emily and I just could not make our schedules work so that we could color eggs without leaving anyone out. You know me by now... I don't know how many years of egg coloring I have left with my teenage girls so it is very important to me that I don't miss the time I have left. I made the difficult decision to stay home with my girls and color eggs when Emily was available between her "day activity" and leaving for her Prom date. I think there have been times in the past when the girls had more fun coloring eggs than they did this year, but I was happy to be a part of it nonetheless! (I think the girls were really missing Ashley this year!)

It wasn't long before it was time for Emily to get gussied up for her big date. She looked stunning! I am so proud of this girl of mine.. she's growing up so quickly and if I blink then I will miss it! But true to Emily form, she came up with a great idea to have her picture taken in her Prom dress.... jumping on the trampoline! I love her silly side. :) Even better was when she got the other three in her group to join her in some high-jumping hi-jinx! Have you ever seen Prom pictures like these? So fun!

I am so happy that I have these girls to remind me of all the important things in life. I love them all to pieces! I even got them Easter treats again this year in spite of the comment, "Mom, you make us feel like we are five years old!" I know they love it that the "Easter Bunny" still thinks of them and I loved watching them divvy up the treats in the ginormous basket that they have all shared since they were little. *sigh* I'm just not ready for my little ones to grow up!

We Are Noisey People

2011-04-22T08:40:00.000-06:00

Last night I got a text from Madi while she was working. She sometimes will send me a quick hello while she is on break, but this time was quite different.

Madi: "So I have a work assignment."

Knowing she was at work, I sort of expected that would be normal... yanno, assignments at work? I assumed there had to be something unusual about this assignment, otherwise why text me about it?

Me: "?"
Madi: "I have to come up with a crazy noise."
Me: "Foooooorrrr?"

I responded that way because I was truly mind boggled. Madi is a cook at a cafe in a fun center. Why would a cook need to make a crazy noise? In fact, wouldn't that be sort of startling to the customers if they heard strange noises coming from the kitchen as they wait for their orders?? As it turns out, the other workers want to see if Madi has a silly side. Keep in mind this is my girl who is almost always serious. Madi has no time for the movies we watch that are based on slap-stick, dumb humor and she would rather be off writing in her journal than engaging in the outrageous silliness that sometimes consumes our home. Being told to make a crazy noise really stressed Madi out and I immediately tried to be helpful with her "assignment." In fact, Hubby and the other three girls that were home at the time also tried to be helpful by suggesting noises for Madi to try.

Me: "Try that ka-ka-KA noise that Em used for Lizard hunting."

It was at that point I realized that spelling out noises was kind of difficult to do. There's just no way to convey the correct tone and pronunciation through a text message.

Madi: "Ha. That may just freak them out."
Me: "How about the whip noise .. Which-HA!"
Madi: "That could maybe work."

At that point in the conversation, the noise level in my house had definitely ratcheted up! We were demonstrating different noises that we knew and that we could possibly share with Madi. Yes, we are weird... we have been for a very long time. ;)

Me: "Car could teach you her dolphin noise?"
Madi: "Maybe"

Carley's dolphin noise is really cool. She puffs her cheeks with air and then uses a finger to tap on the outside, quickly deflating the air and making genuine dolphin noises. When I tried to mimic her, I just sounded like I was making very.. very rude noises! I never even came close to sounding like a dolphin!

Me: "Lol no. It's really hard. I just tried!"
Madi: "I could do my elephant sound....but that makes me look like a freak.."
Me: "I think they want a lil freaky, Mac."
Madi: "I know! That is just so NOT me."

She's right. It isn't her. While she was stressing over making a crazy noise, she had no idea what had happened back home. If someone had walked into our house just then, they might have thought we had recently escaped from the loony bin! There were noises of every kind imaginable and no signs of stopping any time soon. We were laughing pretty hard too! Apparently it doesn't take much to get us going. I don't know how Madi tolerates us sometimes!

Each family member that walked into the room was immediately tested. I told them to make a noise and waited to see what would happen. We had placed bets on Emily... I said she would pause and ask what was going on... Carley said Em would just immediately make a goofy noise. Carley won the bet and Em was immediately a member of the noise making squad. She came up with so many different, silly noises!

The noise factory raged on at home, but apparently my serious girl, Madi, didn't get the silly gene. Random noises are alien to her and she is stumped by this work "assignment." We did our best to help her with ideas, laughing the whole time, but I have a hard time imagining her performing any noise with ease. It's not her style. Too bad they didn't ask for an essay about noise... Madi could rock that!

Visions Of Peeps Danced Through Their Heads

2011-04-21T08:42:00.002-06:00

I had some errands to run yesterday and because it was Carley's early-out day at school, she went with me. One of the things I needed to do was pick up some Easter treats for my girlies to put in a basket for them this Sunday. It's probably awful that I was doing this right in front of Carley, but she insists she didn't mind. (She is eighteen, after all)

As I walked through the sweets-infested aisles, I would find things I thought the girls might like and I carefully counted out the right number of items and put them in my shopping cart. Money is tight right now and Carley was very conscious of the price of things.. (one of the reasons I probably shouldn't have been doing that shopping with her) she kept telling me that Easter treats were not necessary because they were all old enough to do without those childhood things and I kept reassuring her that it was okay.

I actually didn't spend that much money when it was all said and done, but I could see that my girl was worried about the expense so I offered her my very best explanation for why I do these things and it went something like this:

When my girls were little and would have bad dreams, they would come crawl into bed with me so I could snuggle their sleepy heads for the rest of the night. Linzie was particularly prone to bad dreams and sleepwalking so she ended up in my bed the most often. One day, not too many years ago, I realized that the night snuggles just stopped all at once and no one had warned me that I would miss comforting my sleepy girls when that happened. I was so used to little girls crawling in bed with us at night that I didn't stop to think about them growing up and handling nightmares on their own, leaving me unaware of any bad dreams disturbing their sleep at all. What would I have done if I had known that I was sharing my pillow with a sleeping little one for the last time? My point is that I didn't know that part of my little girls' childhood had ended and I didn't stop to think about it until years later.. and then I missed it.

I don't want the wonder of Easter baskets to vaporize the same way the night-time snuggles did, without anyone noticing at all, and so I cheerfully buy chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and other assorted sugary treats for my "grown up" girls to enjoy on Easter Sunday. We will color eggs while singing along with our iPod music and there will be plenty of pictures to share! And I will be happy for at least one more year of childhood traditions with my precious girls.

Then:

Little Madi and Little Carley showing off their Easter eggs

Now:

We don't mess around! Egg coloring is SERIOUS business!

Last night we were watching television and a commercial came on for a new product.. "Crayola Bubbles" <-click to see the commercial I was amazed! I told the girls that I totally would have bought that for them on Easter when they were little. Linzie's response? "When we were LITTLE? What? Are we NOT bubble worthy?" Oh. My. Goodness! I laughed so hard over her comment that I decided right then and there that I would do my best to try and track down the colored bubbles for my girls' Easter basket this year! It seems they aren't quite ready to grow up either and I am grateful for that!

I Can Do Hard Things

2011-04-18T10:44:00.000-06:00

I'm struggling lately. When I have a lot on my mind I tend to clam up and brood a bit. Sometimes this has a ripple effect on my family and for that I am very sorry. But I'm working on it.. I'm adjusting expectations and wishes. It's a process.

Last night I told a very sad KarKar, "Sometimes, as parents, we have to do hard things for our family." I know it is hard for her to understand and I wish I could take away her hurt and her worry. I also told her that sometimes we have to do things whether we like it or not.

I'm hoping things will get better. I ache over decisions that have to be made and the cascade effect it will have on my family. Life is never easy...

Moab- Day 5 The Trip Home

2011-04-15T11:00:00.000-06:00

On our last day in Moab, I woke up all snoogly in our tent and wished it didn't have to come to an end. We had such a great time on our desert getaway and it felt like there was still so much more to do and see! There had been some chilly winds and a light sprinkling of rain during the night, but the morning was bright and beautiful and it was time to get rolling. We had a lot of work to do!

We decided to warm up some fajita leftovers for breakfast, which was different but it meant less work for me feeding our group. After breakfast, I talked Hubby into going for one last ride. Just the two of us. Hubby asked me to head to the end of Fins N Things so I could take his picture coming down the intimidating rock face. He knew I wouldn't actually ride the trail with him (and in fact he had told me that he would never even consider taking his kids on that trail!) so we temporarily parted ways and I went to wait for him at the end of the trail. It was really fun watching the morning Jeep groups come down that rock! I could never strap little ones into car seats and hope that everything would be hunky dory on those rock trails.. (I am chicken to the core!) they are either brave or crazy.. maybe a little of both! I waited maybe 10 minutes before I heard the distinctive sound of Hubby's four-wheeler - and I held my breath as he inched Rosie down the steep rock. Whew! Safe at last!

I had wanted to check out the other end of that trail because it looked a little easier to me. We headed there next and it might have been a little easier than the part Hubby had just ridden, but it was still challenging to me! It wasn't long before we came to a very steep, very rough part of the trail and Hubs waved for me to hold back. No worries! I had NO intention of following him up a death cliff! Right about then my four-wheeler must have decided to save me from the embarrassment of showing my inner chicken because my fuel light came on. Oh darn! Not enough fuel to continue... must head back to camp. Saved!! Back at camp I tried to act nonchalant as Hubby asked me if I wanted him to fill the tanks and head back out. I told him I was fine either way.. but secretly I knew there was no way I could tackle that advanced trail! Sandy trails with fun "whoop-dees" and high berms are my favorite kind of trails.. definitely not jagged rocks that threaten broken bones and death at every turn! But I know when to say no on a trail so Hubby refueled the four-wheelers and we headed back out. After hesitating at the entrance (which was really the exit) of the trail I had expressed interest in, Hubby turned and asked me if I would take his picture going up Baby Lion's Back instead. Uh.. yeah! Absolutely! He didn't have to twist my arm one bit so we headed in a new direction where we got some great action shots of Hubby going up a crazy hill and then he took me around the backside to show me what he had come down. It was insane! I am so glad he managed that stunt safely!

By then there was no escaping it. We had to head back to camp to get everything packed up for the trip home. Imagine my surprise when we got there and discovered the girls' tent was completely stowed! They had emptied it, swept it and then packed it away! Have I mentioned how awesome they are? They even went into our tent and folded all of our blankets neatly. Wow! Just. Wow! We sprang into action to get the remaining camp chores taken care of, which included packing both of our vehicles and the trailer while Mom and Dad were also packing up their tent trailer. It was a huge job but we have an excellent team and everyone worked hard to help get it done.

We stopped on Main Street on our way out of town to do some last minute shopping. I had to make sure that everyone had something fun to remember the trip. The girls bought shirts, jewelry and a few of these cute VooDoo dolls that Mom and the girls had discovered the day before. Mom gave Hubby one that is a "Love Chef" and she gave me the "See All" which promised to help me see through all lies, deceptions and secrets. Haha! How perfect is that with a house full of teenagers? Just kidding! My girls would never lie to me... right? RIGHT?

One last stop at the infamous McDonalds for shakes and we were on our way! We left Moab in sunny, warm weather after having a wonderful family vacation. We were sad to be leaving it behind, but already the girls were placing dibs on who got the shower first when we got home! Just the thought of hot water sluicing through our hair was beyond heavenly! Mom had just heard from Missy, back home, that we were headed into some nasty weather. Hubby led our caravan as we turned toward the black clouds to the North... toward home.

The snow started about two and a half hours away from home and it got worse with every mile. By the time we hit Salt Lake City, visibility was two car lengths in front of us and the snow was unbelievable! We didn't know it then, but that particular storm had plans to stick around for three days! It was a miserable drive home because of the weather, but Emily, Madi and Abby were riding in the Jeep with me and we sang at the top of our lungs anyway. I love turning up the tunes and singing with my girlies!

I was on the phone with Mom as we reached our freeway exit. They still had a few miles to go, but we reassured each other that we would be back in touch very soon. I was missing them already. I am so grateful that they were able to come with us on our Moab adventure! I regret not getting Mom and Dad on the 'wheelers for a ride though... huge regret! I would have loved to post those pictures here. I guess we will just have to go again next year!

Our trailer was snow-packed and everything on it was soaking wet! It would take the better part of a week to get it under control again. (In fact, we still haven't finished washing sleeping bags and we got home one week ago) The showers were super hot and we all loved feeling so clean after our camping adventure. We all cleaned up and spent some time hanging out at home the night we returned; happy to be home, but a little sad that our trip was over and our Ashley had to fly back to Atlanta the very next morning. Sad.

I love the adventures our family has enjoyed over the years! The memories we make together are priceless to me and I hope that there are many more adventures to come!

Potato Head Desperately Seeks Duct Tape!

2011-04-15T00:39:00.004-06:00

Last night I dreamt I was a Potato Head. Not gonna lie, it freaked me out a little bit... especially since I was desperately looking for duct tape and NO ONE would help me! I woke up mad at Hubby because he was one of the people in my dream who ignored my Potato-y pleas for help. This has happened to him before... I don't mean to do it, but poor Hubby is not unfamiliar with the rudeness of me waking up mad at him for something he didn't actually do! The truth is, I am certain he WOULD give me duct tape if I needed it, even if I was a Potato Head. (Sorry, sweetheart.. you know how irrational my dreams can make me at times.)

Do you ever have extra-weird dreams when you're sick? Do you wake up mad at people who didn't actually do anything wrong? I can't be the only wacko that goes through this!

FYI- Moab Day 5 is written, I just have to add the pictures tomorrow and I will have it posted by the evening. Thanks for being so patient!

What kind of therapist would stand a chance of helping me figure out what this dream could possibly mean?!

Delayed

2011-04-13T20:13:00.001-06:00

Sorry for not posting Day 5 yet. Is it possible that Ashley's stomach bug could have caught up to me one week later? I dunno if it's the same bug, but I am definitely not feeling well today. I promise I will get Day 5 written and posted just as soon as I am feeling up to it.

(There's a wicked cool spring storm thrashing outside my window right this very minute. It sort of makes me feel a little better.. I really dig the light show!)

Moab - Day 4

2011-04-12T16:53:00.004-06:00

We are not wealthy by any standard. We work hard, budget like crazy, (seriously, you should SEE Hubby's spreadsheets!) and plan our outings to squeeze the most out of every minute possible. A long time ago we made the decision to buy the outdoor equipment that would supply the girls with wonderful childhood memories. It helps that Hubby is amazing when it comes to engines and maintenance so I knew our toys would always have the best of care. He takes care of the equipment and I take care of the emotions and overall well-being of our tribe of girls. It works.

Last year when we went to Moab, it was all about how much four-wheeling we could do while we were there. But the weather had other plans for us. It was so cold and windy that we escaped to sightseeing in the state and national parks just so we could be warm in the vehicle. In spite of the nasty weather, we did get in some wonderful rides, which is what convinced us that we wanted to come back to Moab to explore even more trails. With all of the rock formations and vast areas to explore, Moab is a wonderland for four-wheeler enthusiasts!

I cannot describe how excited we were when Mom told us they wanted to come to Moab with us this year. I hadn't been camping with my parents for many years and I hoped they wouldn't be so miserable that they'd never want to go anywhere with us again. We knew we would be scaling back our riding plans, but that was perfectly fine because spending time with family is much more important! As the vacation days passed one by one, I hoped that Mom was enjoying a break from camp cooking and that she didn't think our campfire antics were too bizarre. The girls had done some riding on Sand Flats road, but never more than a mile or two away from our camp. On Day 4 we decided it would be okay to part ways with Mom and Dad for 3-4 hours to go on a distant trail ride that Hubby had researched in his trail guide book.

I cleaned up the breakfast dishes as Hubby checked the fuel and tires of the 'wheelers. He had the opportunity to use his super-neato Christmas gift from his equally super-neato wife when one of the 'wheelers had a flat tire. Oooh! You need a portable air compressor? Let me go grab that for you.. because I CAN! (Yes, I'm being obnoxious on purpose, but that's only because Hubby wrinkled his nose and yawned when he opened that gift on Christmas morning.. his ho-hum reaction to my wonderfully thoughtful and genius gift bummed me out!) This bad-boy of camping equipment not only has an air compressor, it can jump start cars, has power outlets and an inverter, and it has a radio! Like I said, neato!

Unfortunately, our poor Ashley woke up with a tummy ache that morning. She was feeling so crummy that she actually asked for Pepto Bismol. Around my house, I am the only person who will even touch that pink stuff! Even after choking down some medicine, Ash was not feeling well so she opted out of the ride. Luckily for us, Mom and Dad said she could hang out with them while we were gone. If there hadn't been other adults to provide another option for Ashley that day, we would not have gone on our ride. Does that mean they were our camp babysitters? (I hope not because I don't want to be that person.. you know, the one who dumps her kids on the grandma any ol' time without a care or concern? That's not me!) Mom assured Ashley that they would have a quiet afternoon of shopping along Moab's main street. I saw two additional sets of ears perk up when shopping was mentioned. What?? There's shooopping??? Suddenly I had not one, but three kiddos that had opted out of our epic ride. Truthfully, I was not concerned about losing three of our six girlies to an afternoon with their grandma. How often do they get her all to themselves anyway? Plus, we picked up an extra rider when Ella proclaimed that she would rather ride than shop. Plans were set and now we just needed an hour to move the groups from point A to point B. Big group takes time to maneuver, remember?

The drive to the trail-head was really neat! We took the road that ran parallel to The Green River, and we saw cliff dwelling type houses that people were constructing, a ranger with a group of little kids at a tiny park with Indian petroglyphs carved into the mountain face, and some very interesting homeless-looking people hitchhiking to nowhere. Shaweet! Mom and Dad followed us to the parking lot where we parked the trailer and we bid them farewell. It was nice that there was someone that knew where we were headed, especially since we were very close to the area where Aaron Ralston became trapped and had to hack off his own arm to save himself. (sorry if that was a bit graphic! If you haven't seen it, you should check out the movie about his ordeal. It is called "127 Hours")

I digress.

So there we were, all geared up and ready to go! We sort of had an idea what we would see on that ride, but I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the cliffs and the lush valley protectively nestled between the red mesas. As we traveled the dirt roads we were surrounded by unspoiled, picturesque landscapes. I could easily imagine ancient Indian tribes dwelling among the red cliffs and meandering streams. We stood eye level with some of the most amazing petroglyphs I had ever seen when we stopped at "The Birthing Rock" to take some pictures and I tried to picture the tribes that left the markings behind. I couldn't help but wonder what legacy we are leaving for those that will come centuries after us... certainly nothing so grand as those stories carved in stone.

I wasn't completely lost in thought during that ride, but I'd say it was pretty close to that. I found my thoughts turning inward and I was filled with pure gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life. How could I not be appreciative in a setting like that? There were points during the ride that became difficult to navigate but the girls were brave and, most importantly, they were very careful. I was so proud of them for having the courage to try this new adventure ... but mostly, I was just thinking of how proud I am of all of my girls. I will admit there were a few times when my eyes got teary behind my dusty goggles as I contemplated the threshold my family is standing on these days. Carley and Madi are weeks away from graduating and this may have been our last family trip where we were all together. *sniff*

After riding through beautiful canyons for 4 hours, we headed back to camp to wash the red dust from our pores and to see how the rest of our family had fared during the day. When we got there, Mom told us that they had just barely returned to camp themselves. Really? I cannot imagine shopping for 4 hours! (actually, I can barely survive one hour of shopping.. just ask my girls!) It didn't take Mom long to confess that they had also gone out to lunch at a little diner called "Smitty's Golden Steak Restaurant" that apparently had a gold miner motif. That was so generous of her to take three of my girls out to lunch! They had also done some souvenir shopping with my credit card, along with an understanding that the girls had a $25 limit each. Unfortunately, Ashley was still feeling ooky and Emily was now feeling less than skippy herself. Not good.

After the grim experience earlier in the morning with Pepto Bismol, Ash wasn't exactly eager to try that tummy ache remedy again. Mom had told her that she had Alka-seltzer and at that point Ashley was willing to try almost anything. While Emily chose to sleep off the ick, Ashley prepared herself for some plop plop fizz fizz. She had no idea what she was in for! What happened next created some of the funniest pictures I have ever seen! Kudos to Carley for capturing the moment so perfectly! Hubby doesn't even have to look at these pictures to laugh..just the thought of the hilarious face Ashley pulled is enough to start him giggling uncontrollably!

Mom and I got to work on the famous Dutch Oven dinner that my family insists on having every time we go camping, while Hubby decided to take his four-wheeler, Rosie, up Fins N Things. He had been nagging me for days to let him take the shiny new Jeep up the rock trail, and when I finally relented he admitted that he didn't really want to. He sheepishly told me that the only reason he kept nagging was because he knew I would tell him no. Scoundrel!

As I prepared the Dutch Oven components, I looked up and saw Dad across the road, flying a kite. How cute is that! The dark clouds had rolled in earlier that afternoon while we were riding and the wind had definitely picked up. We were worried about getting rained on, but aside from a few sprinkles while we were trail riding, the rain stayed away.. thank goodness! The only bummer was that the 75 degree weather from the previous day had been replaced by an icy wind that cut our campfire time very short that evening.

BUT.....

You know what they say about clouds and silver linings? The clouds that rolled in with the cold wind proved to be the perfect canvas for the evening sunset. We snapped picture after picture of the stunning colors that draped the evening sky.

We crawled into our comfy beds that night, after bundling up in many layers for extra warmth, and reflected on the amazing sights we had seen that day. I am truly grateful for the opportunities we have had to spend time out in the beautiful wilderness as a family. I hope one day that my girls will share these experiences and memories with their own families.. and maybe, just maybe... they will ask us to go camping with them!

I did not take this picture. I googled it. This pic shows the stars, Milky Way, airplanes and lights of Moab

Day 5 is bittersweet... I will tell you about how we were sad at the thought of packing up camp, but thrilled at the thought of a hot shower!

Moab- Day 3

2011-04-11T10:01:00.003-06:00

I was awake several times during the night, but it's not what you're thinking. I woke up for the sole purpose of telling Hubby how happy I was! Isn't that completely bonkers! The mattress did indeed hold air, the blankets were snoogly warm, and I was able to sleep on my back, unmoving, for most of the night! You may be thinking that's no big deal, but remember the fused back issue? I haven't been able to sleep on my back for over 11 years! But as the sun trickled over the horizon that morning, I jokingly told Hubby that I was considering getting rid of our bed at home because I had slept so well that night. Yay for me! Hubby also slept well that night and I have the picture to prove it. :)

That morning we were well rested and moving a little easier so the hot cocoa and breakfast was even better! It makes me laugh that some of the kiddos didn't stir until the tantalizing smells reached them, but I suppose that is the perk of being a teenager, right? Someday it will be up to them to cook for their own families, but right now they are my little ones to care for, even if two of them are eighteen!

I love how established campfires light up so easily in the brisk mornings. We had burned the coals so hot the night before that they were only resting.. as soon as the wood hit the hot bed, we were back in business with a cozy morning fire to accompany the cocoa, bacon and eggs. We also had a front row seat to the Fins N Things entrance so we watched the Jeeps, bicyclists and motorcycles approach the watery entrance with caution before heading straight up the rock. It was grand entertainment!

Linzie had talked us into letting her learn to ride the Raptor the day before and she was eager to hit the trails once again. The Raptor is my own four-wheeler and it is a bit more powerful than the Hondas the girls usually ride so until that trip, I hadn't really shared it with anyone other than Hubby. It took her some time to get used to the clutch and the different feel of the Raptor's gears, but I could tell she was proud to be doing something the other girls hadn't really tried, and it also meant that more kids could go on group rides together.

Back in my youth (forever ago!) we would go on camping trips and we had motorcycles to ride, but we never really camped anywhere like Sand Flats Road. I remember getting in trouble with fellow campers (can't blame them) for the constant noise and dust we stirred up as we rode in endless circles at the end of the campground loop. Looking back, I cannot imagine how riding in circles was fun, but trust me when I tell you that we loved it! I can only imagine how awesome it would have been to have endless trails right outside our camp and the freedom that would have brought! Of course, I am certain that my cousin, Brandon, and I still would have found some sort of mayhem to stress our parents, but at least they wouldn't have had the Ranger breathing down their necks and issuing citations for noise.

After checking and refilling the fuel in the four-wheelers, the girls were off once again! We could see them from time to time, riding off in the distance. How I loved watching them having fun! At one point, Mom pointed out that they were circling a Juniper tree out in an open area. Round and round they went! I laughed out loud when I realized that Emily was the leader on that ride.. she deliberately circled the tree over and over to see how long they were willing to follow her! Haha! You gotta love that girl's sense of humor!

How do you eat Grandma's delicious cookies while wearing helmets?

THAT'S how!

After the morning camp clean-up, we talked about heading into Arches National Park for a few hours. My niece, Ella, was with us on this trip and she had not seen Arches before and we wanted her to be as amazed as our girls were the year before. As you might imagine, it takes some time to organize and move a group as large as ours. Four-wheelers had to be parked, helmets stowed, cameras gathered from various safe places, drinks and snacks had to be moved to the vehicles and finally, seating arrangements had to be worked out. It's a process!

The only good thing about the truck being broken down was that I got to ride in the same vehicle with Hubby. I enjoyed talking with him and holding his hand as we wound our way through the campgrounds and past Slickrock, toward town to check on the truck once again. I am such a sap! In love with being in love.. I know, you don't want to hear the mushy stuff.. so suffice it to say that I was a happy camper that morning, sharing the ride into town with my sweetheart and a few of the girls.

We were surprised (and, admittedly a little sad) to learn that the truck was fixed! It was not the fuel pump as Hubby suspected, but something called an ignition coil. I don't pretend to understand auto-mumbo jumbo. I thought if the car was started then the ignition was hunky dory and all was right in the world. If that's the case, then tell me how a truck just stops running when it is cruising down the freeway at 75mph? Hubby tried to explain it to me, but something shiny distracted me and I forgot to listen. ;) We only had to wait 30 min for the owner to return to the shop to write up the invoice so we could take the truck with us. We talked about killing time by going to Hole In The Rock, but ultimately we decided we would rather spend our money on t-shirts rather than admission to a house carved into a rock.

Mom suggested we go check out the little market store nearby to kill some time so we headed down the street, looking for adventure. Unfortunately, it was just a regular grocery store.. but that didn't stop the girls from spending over 30 minutes in the store anyway. They were enjoying the modern restrooms with flush toilets.. can you blame them? We were staying at a campsite with those horrible pit toilets.. *shudder* The girls were actually gone so long that we started joking about how they must be giving each other "swirlies" and then blow drying their hair with the hand dryers affixed to the walls. I actually didn't mind that they took so long because I was enjoying people-watching! I'm not sure what it is about Moab that gives the atmosphere a carefree feel, but I was content as I watched the Jeeps drive past in a constant flow down main street.

She thought this sign meant "I love you" but she forgot to put out her thumb so what she was REALLY signing was "Rock ON!" Rock on, Mama!

Eventually the girls sauntered out of the store and we went to pick up the truck. It was a huge bummer that it cost over $400 to fix something that Hubs could have replaced for $60 if we had been at home, but under the circumstances there was nothing else that we could have done. The girls re-arranged their seating plans so that some of them could go with Hubby in the truck, and I held in the pout over not being able to ride with my sweetie anymore. I always remind myself that one of these days the girls will be grown and won't be with us on trips anymore.. when that day comes, I will be riding in the same vehicle with Hubby, but I will undoubtedly miss my girls, so I focus on being grateful to have our family all together while we can.

Arches was great! When we were there last year it was freezing cold and we would dash back to the vehicle as quickly as possible so we could warm up again. That was not the case this year! We were enjoying the 75 degree weather and we took so many pictures of all the things we enjoyed seeing again. I think one of the most interesting people-watching moments had to be when we saw a German couple trying to parallel park a motorhome on a narrow loop... on the curve! Something about how the lady was yelling to the man in German just cracked me up! I'll give them credit for having guts, but I still wonder how the little car behind them ever managed to get out of that tight spot once the motorhome was parked!

I would like to give Mom and award for wearing so many white shirts while camping in red dirt. I think she must have a special force field!

Did I mention we were sunburned at this point? In spite of the sunscreen, several of us were sporting burned necks, faces, and ears. The chapstick made the rounds as we tried to keep the desert from mummifying our lips and through it all we just smiled. We were having a great time! Hubby also mentioned to me several times that he was impressed with the general good attitudes of the kids. When you have that many personalities in a confined space, there are bound to be clashes.. but the girls handled them with aplomb so everyone could continue to enjoy the vacation.

Burned neck, REALLY burned ears, and burned cheeks! Even with sunscreen.. :|

We returned to camp in time for Hubby to set up his grill. (His favorite part!) Hubby loves all things food when on vacation and we just let him lead. He grilled up steak, burgers and bratwurst.. enough to feed an army. Seriously, where is this army that we keep preparing to feed? There was still so much leftover after everyone ate as much as they wanted. But again, Hubby was happy in his grilling element so it was all good!

We concluded our day with sunset rock hiking near Slickrock, more campfire, more S'mores, more Russian, and contentment all around. We didn't stay up very late though because the sunburns made for sleepy campers... and we knew we had to hurry and get rested for the big day ahead of us!

I am so excited to tell you about Day 4!

Moab - Day 2

2011-04-10T13:34:00.001-06:00

Something you may or may not know about me is that I have a fused back. You know that little part that arches inward, otherwise known as the lumbar region? That part of my back has plates, screws, a titanium cage insert and bone grafted from my hip. Not too much fun if you want to know the truth. I had three surgeries in 6 months to ensure that part of my back never moved again. Ever. Needless to say, sleeping is something I had to relearn. I now need a minimum of four pillows just to make sure I don't wake up in crippling agony from sleeping in the wrong position. Hubby likes to tease me about my pillow addiction, but he knows it's really not my choice. Because of my not-so-bionic back, sleeping in a tent is a tricky thing. I need my pillow collection AND a quality air mattress or the misery will quickly set in. I used to have a wonderful camping air mattress. It was a Sofina self-inflatable air mattress that kept me comfortable over five years worth of camping trips. And then one side of it died... and for some reason Sofina doesn't make them any more. We have bought three air mattresses in less than a year, trying to find one as awesome as the Sofina.. no luck so far. Before we left for Moab, Hubby and I went to Cabela's ( The Disneyland of outdoor equipment for those that haven't been there.) to get an air mattress because surely this fancy camping store would have the best of the best. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that they carry the same models as Kmart. Ugh! Not one Sofina in sight. We bought an expensive Coleman air mattress and hoped for the best.

Fast forward to our stressful first night at Moab. We were tired, we were worried about the truck, we were FREEZING because of the Spring cold front that was expected to hit that region for one night only. We did our best to huddle under the mountain of blankets and sleeping bags, on the comfy air mattress, with the tent heater doing what it could to keep hypothermia at bay. EXCEPT.... the air mattress refused to hold air. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It was after 11pm and we had inflated the stupid thing several times in hopes that maybe we just weren't getting the valve closed completely. To make matters worse, Moab had received a lot of rain the morning before we arrived so the ground was damp and it didn't take long for the chill to seep through our tarp, the bottom of the tent, and our lame-o deflated air mattress. Have you ever slept on a cold water-bed that leeches the heat out of you until your bones are chilled? It was a lot like that. Combine that desperate cold with the extreme pain my back was suffering from due to the unforgiving hard ground, and it was a complete recipe for disaster. I tried making a bed with my pillows and using clothing to rest my head on.. it was the best I could do. In all, I think I slept an hour total that night and I was not a happy camper the following morning. Hubby hadn't slept much better.. he was also cold and had to listen to my miserable whimpering all night. I think we were both relieved when the sun finally came up and we staggered out into the desert morning to begin day two of our camping adventure.

It could only get better, right?

After shaking off the chill and the ache in my back, we enjoyed an excellent camp breakfast, complete with hot cocoa and Redvine "straws" (Hubby's favorite!) and chatted about what we should do that day. Mom and Dad needed to get their trailer's heater working because they had also spent an uncomfortable night trying to stay warm, and we needed to check on the ailing truck at some point. But first things first... we cleaned up the breakfast dishes and the adults climbed into the Jeep while some of the kiddos followed us on the four-wheelers for some sight-seeing fun up Sand Flats road. Even though Mom and Dad had camped in Moab before, they had not seen this part of the area so it was fun to show it to them. We laughed about the misadventures my little brother always seemed to find on those long-ago vacations as we admired the rock formations and deep canyons that surrounded us on all sides. I told Mom that it was as if I could hear childhood echos all around me. I could easily imagine my younger self scrambling over the rocks and chasing lizards in the desert. Good times!

Conversation I had with Ella while overlooking Porcupine Ridge:

Me: "There's a lot of great rocks up here. Ella, do you collect rocks? There are some neat ones here you could take a few as souvenirs."

Ella: "I used to do that when I was a kid, but I grew out of it."

LOL! (Ella is 12 and she is indeed very grown up!)

We headed back to camp where the kiddos took turns riding the four-wheelers and Hubby and I decided to attempt to repair our crappy air mattress before trying to find a new one in town. Mom and Dad also got to work trying to fix their heater. We were happy to be in Moab but we all knew we needed a better night's sleep if we were going to enjoy the rest of the trip.

After clearing off the picnic table and re-inflating the air mattress, we proceeded to rub our hands all over it and lay our faces/heads/ears on every part of the surface to look for a leak. Mom wondered out loud what our neighbors must think of the spectacle and I had to laugh with her! I am sure we looked like lunatics out there, alternating between rubbing the vinyl surface and laying our heads down on it. Freak show anyone? Ultimately, our mattress massage worked because we found a tiny imperfection on the bottom of the mattress, clearly a factory defect, and we decided to try taping over it with the manufacturer's "repair tape" and some heavy duty duct tape on top of that. I crossed my fingers and hoped it would work because we wouldn't really know until later that night and by then it would be too late to get a new mattress. We also "fixed" Linzie's air mattress that hadn't held air the night before either.. except her issue was that she hadn't closed the valve.. at all! We had a laugh and reassured her that she would sleep better that night now that the mattress had a chance to hold air.

While we were playing air mattress doctors, Dad had managed to repair the trailer heater so now that all was well in our camp, we decided to head to town to check on the truck and get a carwash to clean the salt off of the vehicles from the trip over the snowy summit the day before. The girlies were a bit squished in the two vehicles but they kept their smiles anyway. Have I mentioned how much I adore these kids?

The auto shop hadn't started on the truck yet so there was no happy-fixed-truck news for us that day. We washed our vehicles and stopped at the store to pick up a few things we needed at camp, and we headed back toward Slickrock for some four-wheelin' and camp chillin'. I think that afternoon was the first time I realized just how over-prepared we were with food. Mom had brought enough to feed an army and so had we. We set out a sandwich and salad buffet for lunch which effectively killed everyone's dinner appetite, much to Hubby's dismay. (Not to be deterred, he made his fajitas that night anyway, even though everyone was still full from lunch! But we loved the tantalizing smells coming from the skillet nonetheless!)

After the stress involved in getting to camp the day before, we needed a down day to just do whatever. The girls had a great time taking off on the wheelers, exploring the area and enjoying their moto-freedom. We went with them on a few rides, discovering sandy trails full of "whoop-dees" and sharp berms, and the back side of "Fins N Things" that had an axle-killing rock covered in tire marks. I think Hubby decided right then and there that he would ride "Fins N Things" at some point that trip, whether I liked it or not. That's my guy! He's adventurous and mostly fearless.. I love him to pieces for it!

Around the campfire that night, Emily entertained us with her Russian alter-personality. We laughed until our sides hurt as she described various horrible things that they do to dogs in her "Homeland" ... Not even kidding... truly horrible things! But her comedy was spot-on and the laughter was medicinal for all of us. We kept the fire burning hot as S'mores were made, marshmallow bunnies were sacrificed to the fire gods, and one by one our blinks got longer and the yawns began. It was time for bed and we we crossed our fingers for a comfy, warm night to rest and recharge.

The question is... did the mattress hold air?

Coming soon - Moab Day 3!

Moab- Day 1

2011-04-09T14:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we uploaded our camping pictures to the family computer. Between the two of us, Carley and I took 1,555 photos! That's a lot of Kodak moments! I love the digital age that allows us to take as many photos as our memory cards will allow. We spent hours looking through the images and oh how we laughed! It was definitely a good trip and it beats the pants off of last year's trip that had us hunkering down to survive the 75mph icy wind that tried to bury us in the red sand.

This year Mom and Dad decided to make the excursion with us. We were thrilled that they were able to bring Ella with them also. They headed off with Hubby and some of the girls around 11am but I had to wait three and a half hours before leaving with my group because Emily was still on her way home from her California choir trip. It was hard for me to be left behind but sometimes there's no avoiding it so I sucked it up and tried to stay positive. Poor Emily was only home long enough to take a shower and change her clothes before we threw her back in the car to hit the road. She was such a trooper about backtracking all those miles she had just barely traveled to get home! I was eager to get to Moab as quickly as possible to meet up with the rest of our group and to escape the winter weather that was bearing down northern Utah.

About 30 miles into our journey I had an incoming call from Hubster. We had been texting back and forth with the girls so I knew that they had to be within minutes of arriving at the campsite. I admit that I was looking forward to arriving at a campsite that was already set up, fire blazing and happy greetings all around. That vision was what kept me from being sad as they drove away without me earlier that day. BUT...... that vision quickly evaporated with the phone call from Hubby... I should have expected it. I have written many times about our cursed luck with vacations. I don't know what it is, but something in the Universe has it out for us and something always goes wrong on our trips. Always. Hubby was calling me to let me know that the truck had broken down. Again! They were about an hour away from Moab and were going to try to call a tow truck even though it was Sunday and that meant we were going to have to pay an astronomical fee to get the truck and trailer towed into town. I vaguely remember saying to Hubby something along the lines of how I was sick of our horrid luck and I was never, NEVER going on vacation again. My family was stuck on the side of the road and I was at least three hours away from reaching them, even if I floored it and dared every policeman in the state to pull me over for excessive speeding. I felt helpless... and a little hopeless. Damn our luck!

I was driving as quickly as possible, through the pelting rain and my own anxiety, when Madi called me with an update. Just the sound of my girl's voice pushed me over the edge and the tears began to flow. Madi quickly turned the phone over to my Mom who calmed me down as she explained that she had called her AAA and they were on the way to pick up the truck and trailer at no cost to us. (I'm thinking we need to look into getting AAA with as often as we travel!) Mom went on to say that her prayers were more powerful than our bad luck and she reassured me that everything was going to be fine. I felt better knowing help was on the way and would likely get to them long before I could. I promised to check in with them once I was out of the canyon and had cell service again. (But I still kept my speed at at least 10mph over the speed limit.. I felt the need to get to my family quickly!) An hour later we were out of the canyon and refilling the Jeep's gas tank when we heard from Bill that the tow truck had arrived and that they were all headed to Moab. I breathed a sigh of relief that they were no longer stranded on the side of the road!

Abby, Emily and I reached Moab about 5pm and we headed straight to the campsite. I knew the rest of my girls were stranded at McDonalds but until I dropped off my passengers I didn't have room for more. (The adults in charge of them had dropped them off out of necessity because they no longer had the truck and the trailers and camping supplies would have to be brought to the campsite in several trips.) I practically pushed Abby and Em out the doors and hastily left their bags and blankets on a rock next to Mom and Dad's camping trailer. I didn't wait to see if Hubby was following in Dad's truck because I had five girls to rescue from McDonalds!

The icy wind had followed us from Layton and it had been a long, stressful day... but when I pulled into the parking lot of the McDonalds where my girls had been "abandoned" hours earlier, I was met with excited giggles and happy chatter as they caught me up on what they had been doing to entertain themselves while they waited for rescuing. There are no words to describe how much I love these girls! I was so happy to be reunited with them and I squeezed them all into the Jeep to get them to the campsite ASAP. We had to laugh over how ironic it was that my group reached the campsite before the girls that hit the road long before we did. What an eventful day it had been for them!

Some of the hilarious comments from the "Abandoned Children" after they were rescued:

"Next time Grandma gives us money, drops us off at McDonalds and says she'll be right back, I will say Nuh-Uh Grandma! I want your credit card and you can drop us off at Olive Garden instead!"

"You ABANDONED us at McDonalds! We now have Child Protective Services on speed dial!"

"You could have WALKED to camp in the 2 hours that you sat here waiting for someone to pick you up..." Response: "Yes, but we didn't know which way camp WAS!"

The evening was well under way by the time we got to camp and began the rushed, and seemingly desperate process of setting up our camp before the dark descended upon us. The only problem was that we had to wait for Hubby and Dad to go get our trailer so we could set up the tents! We huddled together in Mom and Dad's trailer to stay warm while we waited. There was no shortage of laughter in that trailer as the girls playfully teased Mom about being scarred for life because they were abandoned at McDonalds. When the trailer finally arrived, we sprang into action and began to set up tents and unload as quickly as possible. Seeing my family in action was an amazing sight! We were organized and efficient as everyone worked together to pitch tents, unload the trailer and make our cozy beds for the night. But the firewood was still in the truck which was back at the garage in town, so we had to make one more trip to unload the truck.

We were freezing and exhausted by 9pm but we had accomplished the daunting task of setting up camp in spite of the huge setback with the truck earlier that day. We didn't get a campfire that night but we were all together and the teamwork that I witnessed and was part of was simply amazing to behold! Each of us huddled under sleeping bags and blankets in the arctic cold and tried to get some sleep. We knew that the next morning would bring new opportunities for fun and we were eager to enjoy our spring camping trip. I am so grateful to my parents for taking such great care of my family on that difficult journey, and I am equally grateful to my girls for their hard work and selflessness that day!

I have an amazing family! Stay tuned for more of our Moab adventures!

We're Baaaaaaaaack!

2011-04-08T08:39:00.000-06:00

We hit the snowstorm about 3 hours from home and it only got worse as we got closer to home. We grabbed our soaking wet suitcases from the trailer last night but that was about it. Today we have to get Ashley to the airport so she can go home to Atlanta and then we have to contend with the 4 inches of snow that covered the trailer and everything in it.

Oh yeah... it's still snowing. :(

Hopefully I will get some pics of our wonderful trip uploaded soon. It's so good to be home!

We Do This To Ourselves.. Willingly!

2011-04-02T08:38:00.001-06:00

I should have been taking pictures of Hubby this week as he worked on various "dirty" projects in preparation for our camping trip. There were days when not a speck of his peachy skin could be found, and don't even get me started on the gobs of grease clinging like miniature koala bears to his fuzzy noggin. Being dirty doesn't bother Hubby. In fact, he has been known to go out in public looking quite homeless in his tattered "garage" clothing, much to my dismay. He does try to clean up for me though; on Thursday he took three showers just to keep ahead of the engine grime that was winning the battle for most of the day. I may cringe about the Grime Monster that Hubby frequently becomes, but I appreciate how hard he works to keep things running around here, especially this week as we prepare for our annual Spring Camping Trip. We are headed to Moab and I hope the weather will be kind to us this year!

That's right... we are disassembling our comfortable lives at home, only to reassemble a distorted version of life in the desert... without running water. Without heat. Without creature comforts of cozy beds and soft places to sit. Without electronics of any kind. Hahaha! Oh sure.. just try telling the kiddos they can't bring their video games, ipods and whatnot. I even heard from my mother that she is bringing her laptop.. her laptop in the desert... hmmm! I don't mind giving up electronics one bit... it's the lack of showers that wears me down in little time, especially on the day that the kiddos will want to roll themselves down the giant sand dune - resulting in a gritty nightmare that I refer to as "The Snickerdoodle Effect" think about it... let it sink in... yuck, right? I cannot fathom why they want to end up with red sand in unhappy places, but that's why I am the mom and the are the carefree kidlets! Better them than me, I say!

Mom and Dad are coming with us this year so camping will have a different dynamic to it, and we are excited to share our red desert trip with them! I haven't been camping in Southern Utah with Mom and Dad since I was a young girl.. I hope they can tolerate our sillyness and our need for four-wheeling adventures. I am making it my goal to get Mom on one of the Hondas.. stay tuned for pictures!

Today we have to scramble to get everything ready to head out in the morning. We are lucky that Hubby's dad comes to house-sit for us while we are gone, especially since last year some unsavory thugs targeted our house for theft when they saw us preparing to leave on a camping trip. The jerks may have gotten away with my wallet, but they did not break into the house as they intended, all thanks to my father-in-law scaring them off! Wish us luck and warm weather while we're gone. We will surely have wonderful pictures and stories to tell upon our return!

You can read about last year's trip to Moab HERE.

And for those of you that are my Facebook friends, there are lots more Moab pictures to be found in my facebook photo gallery. I'm excited to add more this week!

Crushing Disappointment

2011-03-31T10:54:00.001-06:00

For months we have been anticipating a visit from our Hawaiian relatives. Hubby's beautiful sister, Leilani and her family were scheduled to arrive today. They could only spare one day for us out of their Las Vegas vacation and we were more than willing to accept that because we adore them that much! We scrubbed the house from top to bottom, carefully planned how we would rearrange the girlies so that our guests could take the room with two double beds in it... and we planned a family bbq/ fire pit night as well.

We were so excited!

Ashley flew in from Atlanta last night, skipping her very last soccer game and banquet in order to be here for the fun of showing our Hawaiian family some snow. We were all pretty tired by the time we got home at 1:30am and most of us went to bed immediately because we knew we had a long and exciting day ahead of us. We planned on being back at the airport to pick them up at 10:20am.

Can you guess where this is headed?

Hubby jumps out of bed this morning at 8am to check flights and make sure Leilani understands how to fly standby (he gave them buddy passes and paid the fees a few weeks ago). Two minutes later he came back to bed, shoulders slumped and he said, "They're not coming. Leilani's too sick." Oh. Sad. Yesterday Leilani posted on Facebook that she thought she had food poisoning. We understand food poisoning while on vacation. Oh boy do we ever! (6 out of 8 of us had food poisoning so bad on our Kona trip last year that we had to stay an extra day in Hawaii because we were too sick to fly) Honestly, we really just hope that she feels better soon for her sake.. and for her unborn baby's sake as well! But we are sad. Selfish, I know.

My girlies are in a funk. They skipped school today for the rare treat of spending time with family that we don't get to see very often. Ashley missed her last soccer game. The positive is that the house sparkles though! We are going to have our bbq anyway and we will light the backyard fire pit too. I also just overheard the girls say that they are going to go shopping today. That's how we roll. We are adaptable.. we can come up with new plans on the fly... But we sincerely hope that Leilani feels better soon because it is absolutely no fun to be so sick, especially while on vacation.

We are disappointed, but we will band together and manage it. Hopefully we can get them to come visit us some time in the not-too-distant future.

Get well soon, Leilani! And give our love to Kona, baby Jolene and our buddy Christian!

A Story Of Hope And Survival

2011-03-30T13:56:00.001-06:00

Spring is an exciting time for my family because we almost always go camping somewhere that we can ride the four-wheelers from sun up until sun down. We spend quality time around campfires and eat great camp food (with or without a little sand, depending on the wind conditions) and just enjoy our family to pieces! But one year it was vastly different and that one year is in the forefront of my mind today.. and every spring as we prepare for our camping trip.

That year the girls were with their dad over Easter so Hubby and I grabbed a few friends and headed to The Dunes for a weekend camping trip. We wouldn't take the girls to that particular place over Easter because it is very rowdy with the younger crowd and due to the high intensity parties that tend to take place at the base of Sand Mountain, it is not a safe place for little girls. In fact, it wasn't exactly safe for us either but we survived and had a reasonably good time. As we were driving home, I got a phone call from my oldest sister, Michele. She was crying and asked me if I had heard about Lily. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a first rate panic veteran. My stomach immediately clenched and I asked Michele to tell me what was wrong. What she said to me that day changed my life forever... it had already changed the lives of my dearest loved ones forever.. I was just catching up.

Lily was at Primary Children's Hospital in SLC and had just been diagnosed with Leukemia the night before. Although I didn't know the complete details of Leukemia then, I knew it was cancer, and I knew it was bad. I was three hours away from home and I sobbed the entire way. As soon as I was home, I showered and put on some clean, non-camping clothes.. I was going to PCMC and no one could stop me. I did go to a specialty store first to pick up a blankie for Lily... I had spent enough time at PCMC with my Linzie to know that blankies are a wonderful comfort to little girls who are scared and uncertain about what is going on around them. I will never forget walking into that room... after going through a very thorough scrubbing just inside the unit first. There was my favorite sister and her little girl, both curled up on the bed, both looking impossibly small. One look at Missy's red, bloodshot eyes told me the entire story. Her mother's heart was breaking and there was nothing I could do about it but love them both.

The story of Lily's battle with Leukemia is a long one, fraught with many fears and laced with more tears than I could ever describe. But it is also a story of hope and a wonderful portrait of survival because today Lily is cancer free. Yay! But I still think about that phone call from Michele.. every year as we prepare for our camping trip... nothing prepares you for that kind of devastating news. There are no answers for the millions of "whys" that we asked over and over... but there can be happy endings. Oh yes there can!

Lily is a one of a kind girl who is supported by a remarkable mother, siblings and even extended family. There's more to her story than any of us will ever know.. only her mother knows the true depth of it all. But there's someone else who has a heart-wrenching perspective on cancer and what it is like to be surrounded by something so big and uncertain... that would be Lily's older sister, Ella.

Ella is easily one of my favorite people on the planet! She is incredibly smart, loving and kind.. and she survived a harrowing medical emergency herself when she was just three years old. I know, right? Can you even imagine what her mother has endured over the years? Last fall, Ella wrote her story about what it was like for her when Lily was diagnosed and went through treatment for Leukemia. Ella then entered that story in a contest that started on a school level, then went to a district level, then regionals, then state, and now is in the national part of the competition. It is no surprise to me that Ella won every level of this competition so far because, I don't care who you are, her story will break your heart. We are now waiting to hear how she does in the national competition.. Please read her story below and wish her luck. She is truly an amazing young woman who comes from an equally amazing family!

Ella's Reflections Essay 2010 -

"Together We Can..."

My sister, Lily, is five years younger than me. Sometimes, having that many years between sisters makes it almost impossible for them to get along or find things in common, but that is not the case with us. I remember holding the tiny version of Lily in the hospital the day she was born and thinking that I finally had a sister, and I just wanted her to hurry and get big enough for us to play together! My favorite picture is one of us standing together on the shores of Jenny Lake in Wyoming. The picture was taken from behind us, and we are both looking out across the water. Lily looks so small standing next to me. It was taken on a family vacation, eight months before Lily was diagnosed with cancer.

Lily was three years old when she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Her three-year treatment included steroids and chemotherapy and more pills and medicines than I can count or remember. Thinking about those years and browsing my memories of them is still really hard, as I've never been as scared or uncertain as I was then. Yet, those years taught me a valuable lesson about families and loved ones which I will never forget. I learned that a family becomes stronger through trials, and that in working together we can make it through anything.

Our world changed the day before Easter in 2007. Like most families who share everything, we had all been down with the flu virus several weeks before that, and Lily just never seemed to get over it. My mom had taken her back to the doctor and a blood test confirmed that something was very wrong. My mom told me that Lily's immune system wasn't working and that she had to go to the hospital. I didn't know what that meant, but I was scared. My mom hugged me and told me it would be okay, but she was crying and the house was full of family. My grandmas were packing an overnight bag for me and my baby brother and I knew that for us to be apart on Easter morning meant that something bad was happening. Before I could ask too many questions, my little brother and I were packed into my grandma's car and pulling away from my house and my family. I knew my parents were taking Lily to a hospital and that I couldn't go, but I didn't want to be away from them.

I remember watching my Aunt Daphne and Grandma Jill that night. Their eyes and noses were red from crying, but they were trying so hard to make me happy. All of my cousins were there and Daphne was organizing games and being silly to make us laugh. Grandma Jill always has lots of hugs for her grandkids, but I got extra hugs that night. I knew she was keeping an eye on me to make sure I felt safe and loved. They both worked so hard all night to make me smile and get me excited for the Easter Bunny's visit in the morning. I remember waking up in the morning and finding my basket. I played with my cousins and forgot for just a few minutes that everything was turned upside down. When Grandma Jill said we were going to see Lily in the hospital, I scrambled to get dressed. I couldn't wait to see her and make sure she was okay.

When we got to the hospital, I could tell my mom had been crying. She hugged me tight, told me she loved me, and asked me all about my Easter basket. When I finally got to sit on Lily's bed and chat with her I noticed right away that she already looked so much better than she had the day before. My mom told me that Lily had a blood transfusion the night before and it helped her feel better. After going through all of our Easter goodies, Lily and I got to have a bubble gun shootout with baby Jack looking on and laughing at us. Our little family was cramped into a hospital room and Lily was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines, but everything felt better because we were together; It was hard to leave. As my mom zipped up my jacket, she explained that Lily was very sick and would have to be in the hospital for some time. Before I could even ask, she told me that I was going to be staying with my cousins. My aunt Daphne wanted to have me over for one long sleepover.

Over the next few weeks, my parents lived at the hospital with Lily. Jack and I were spending all of our time with grandmas, aunts, and cousins, who went out of their way to make us happy. We spent hours making posters, cards, and presents for Lily. The highlight of those days was when my Grandma or aunts would pack up all of our treasures for Lily and drive me and Jack the 45 minutes to visit her in the hospital. Our visits were short, but it was the only time my family got to spend together. I was so grateful that we had loved ones willing to take care of me and Jack and drive us all the way to the hospital.

Once Lily came home we were together again, but things were different. She had no immune system, and anyone who visited had to wear a mask. My mom started keeping hand sanitizer at the front door, and no one could come inside without using it first. I remember my Grandpa picking me up every morning and driving me to school. Those ten minutes were the best, as we talked about my teacher and my class and everything that was going on with me. He would also pick me up after school and we would pick right up where we left off on the conversation.

Dinner was always a lot of fun during those first few months. Our freezer and fridge were full of tasty dinners that all of our family and friends would make and bring over. My mom is a good cook, but it was fun to try out new things and find new favorites. Dinner was also the only time we all got to slow down and sit together and reconnect. My mom didn't have to make the meals, so she actually got to sit and visit with us. It was the only hour out of the day where we were all together and peaceful. I loved every minute of those dinners, and thinking about that time helped me get through the really difficult times of Lily's treatment. One night, while we were eating, we all noticed that Lily's hair was falling out faster and faster. She couldn't eat her dinner without strands of her baby hair falling onto her plate. After dinner, my mom held Lily while my dad shaved her head. I remember hiding under the table and crying because Lily was crying and I felt so bad for her. Afterwards we all hugged each other on the couch and cried.

Because Lily was so sick, she couldn't go to school or daycare. That meant one of my parents had to stay home from work and take care of her. I know my parents agonized over this. Money was already tight, and living on one income was going to make things so much more difficult. While they worried over this and tried to figure things out, our family once again came to the rescue. Over the next six months, they organized several fundraisers and established a donation account to care for Lily's medical expenses. I remember my mom crying and saying she just couldn't find words to express how grateful and humbled she was by how generous and kind everyone was. Friends that my mom hadn't seen in years would call or show up on door with food. People we had never met, as far away as New Zealand, would send presents for me and Lily and Jack. My mom's friend, Todd, who was also battling cancer, donated hundreds of dollars for Lily's medical expenses. I was only nine years old, but even at that age I could feel the outpouring of love from everyone.

One year after Lily was diagnosed, my family was asked to attend and participate in the Relay for Life. The relay is a fundraiser and all of the money raised goes to cancer research. Lily was the poster child for that year’s event, and everywhere we went we saw pictures of her hugging her favorite stuffed animal, and wearing a pink scarf on her bald, little head. As Lily’s spokesperson, my mom was asked to speak to the crowd of supporters that day. I remember my mom thanking everyone for coming and saying that because of the generosity of people like those in the audience, some day maybe we wouldn’t need the relay at all. Maybe someday we would find a cure for the disease that takes so many of our loved ones away. As the sun went down that day, thousands of luminaries were lit and placed around the track. One of those luminaries had Lily’s name on it, and my mom lit one for Todd. We climbed to the top of a hill and looked down on the track in awe of the beauty of the thousands of flickering lights, each one representing someone who was or had fought cancer

There are many different campaigns for cancer awareness, and most of them have very similar slogans. Slogans like, “Together we can find a cure,” or “Together we can make a difference.” Our family had a slogan too. For three years we all wore dog tag necklaces with a black and white picture of Lily and the slogan, “We are in this together.

In July of 2009 Lily finally had her last chemo treatment, and she has been in remission ever since. During the three years of Lily’s treatment I learned some very important lessons. Looking back, I can’t say that I ever felt like everything would be okay, but I always knew that no matter what happened my family, all of my family, and my friends would be there for me. I came to understand that together we can make the best of the most difficult times. Together we can make it through anything.

Anatomy Of A Spring Storm

2011-03-28T14:42:00.003-06:00

Spring weather in Utah makes my Hubby crazy... that is not an understatement. He gets so excited for the warmth that even one day of it is enough to convince him that winter is over and done with... and then it snows the next day. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that he pouts like a toddler when his sunshine is taken away. I am the opposite because I happen to think that Spring storms are awesome! There is no telling what you will get from one day to the next, or even one minute to the next, and at times the ferocity is nothing short of spectacular!

We have a saying around here.. "If you don't like the Spring weather in Utah, wait 10 minutes!" Today was the ultimate example of that very saying and this photo evidence will prove it. These pictures were all taken today, from 9am-1pm. Amazing!


Taken from my bedroom window with my camera phone.

This first picture shows the black, wicked storm approaching from the North. There was ominous thunder and lightening heralding something ferocious about to descend upon us.

I raced downstairs to grab my camera so I could document the exciting weather! Look at the wall of the storm over our neighbor's house! The clouds were moving south very quickly!

These are our pine trees in the backyard. It's important that I show you this photo because you will see this view several times throughout this pictorial. Each picture is vastly different! This one was taken as the black storm was still swirling over us.

Can you see the Robin in this tree? Do you think he was thinking, "Oh Crap!"

I kept calling for Bill to come outside and watch the storm unfold, but he was playing on the Xbox and couldn't hear me with his gamer headphones on. He missed the best parts of the storm!

In the back yard, the clouds were screaming southward. The front yard was completely opposite. Here the black clouds are dipping low and racing to the north! That means the storm was swirling directly over us. How cool is that!

It was right about then that it started to hail. I didn't get a good hail picture though so you'll just have to trust me on this. It hailed! After 5 minutes of cold rocks falling from the sky, the clouds took pity on us and released their fluffiest of white stuff. The snow flakes were huge and beautiful!

Hubby and I had some errands to run (to get ready for our Spring camping trip) so I took a few pictures as I was driving.. (don't tell the cops!)

As I reached the crest of this hill I could see that the storm was movin' on out.

By the time we returned home, snow had already melted from the back yard.

I told you there would be more pictures of this tree.. .and we're not done yet! The sun was working hard to break through the storm clouds. Queue "Here Comes The Sun" can you hear it?

As I snapped a few pictures of the budding trees and the asparagus peeking out of the soil, the sun continued its journey out of the clouds.... and suddenly there it was!

And remember the pine tree that I told you to keep your eye on? Well here it is again. This picture was taken at 1pm.. what a wonderful, beautiful and amazing Spring storm we had today!

Today we experienced thunder, lightening, wind, rain, hail, snow, and finally... bright blue sky! Welcome to Spring in Utah.. you never know what you're going to get.

PS: Two hours later and it's snowing again. Haha!

Hoo-Ray!

2011-03-27T17:44:00.000-06:00

It's Spring! Around here that means two things:

Spring Cleaning
Moab camping trip!

We also have an extremely rare treat this week... Bill's sister, Leilani, and her adorable family are coming for a one day visit on Thursday. We wish they could stay longer, but we will take what we can get. For years now we have been trying to get them to leave their beautiful Hawaiian home for a short vacay with us in Utah. But... can you really blame them for not wanting to make that swap? We have always been more than eager to swap our locale for theirs! Also, Leilani's big burly man, Kona, has this silly notion that we have snakes and bears right outside our doors. (Okay, so we kinda have a snake living in the rocks in our front yard, but he's a harmless little thing that eats spiders so he can stay.)

So what does all this mean? It means that today I made a spring cleaning list! Can I get a "Hoo-Rah" for spring cleaning? No? How about a "Hip-Hip-Hooray!" for a sparkling clean house? Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! The list that I created covered an entire sheet of paper.. the more I wrote, the more I began to worry that there would be no way to get it all done before our company arrives on Thursday and before we leave for Moab on Sunday. Yikes! That's when inspiration struck and I decided to put a dollar amount on each job listed. Big jobs went for $10-$20 each whereas most jobs were $5 because they could be completed in a short amount of time. There is one monster job that has a $50 price tag on it though because it is no fun at all and takes the most time to complete. As soon as I announced the bounty to be made, the girls jumped right up and started signing up for the spring cleaning extravaganza! Some jobs they are managing solo and the bigger ones they are teaming up on and will split the profits. Thank goodness for divine inspiration and a slush fund dedicated to the girls!

For the last few hours, there has been happy music playing in the background while the girls laugh and chatter back and forth as they work hard on Spring chores. I have to say that they have had me laughing too! I simply adore my sweet, funny, helpful girls!

Linz cleaning the ceiling fans

Abby was cleaning baseboards but kept calling them "Billboards" haha!

Camera-shy Carley cleans the windows and blinds

Abby on the floor and Linz cleaning the fans

These last three pictures crack me up! While cleaning one of the cupboards, we found a pair of 3D glasses left over from when we saw "How to Train Your Dragon" .. Linz popped out the lenses and wore them while she cleaned. How cute is she!

Thinking Out Loud

2011-03-19T11:27:00.001-06:00

This morning the girls got up bright and early and left the house for a day with their dad, who is visiting from Oregon. They only get to see him once a year so a Saturday morning in a quiet, mostly empty house is very rare around here. I could easily spend the day missing them like crazy and constantly wondering what they're up to, but I chose to spend a little time on me today- which is pretty unusual.

After gently talking Hubby into making a delicious breakfast, I settled in with a Netflix movie that I reserved a while ago. A Saturday morning with no kids AND a movie? Bigfoot sightings are more common than this occurrence! I told myself that the girls are having a great time visiting with their dad and his family so that I could concentrate on the breakfast and movie. I gave myself permission to enjoy the quiet.. and I did enjoy it!

I try to watch the movies nominated for Academy Awards prior to the actual awards, but let's face it.. it is not possible to see them all. After watching the awards given to The Kids Are All Right, I knew it was one that I had to see and my friend, Netflix, delivered it to my mailbox just the other day so the timing was perfect. Instead of popcorn, I had Hubby's perfect huevos rancheros and my cozy jammies. It was pure indulgence and I was ready to go!

I have to say that I really liked the performances and the message that I got from watching this movie. Unfortunately, it isn't one that I can watch with my girls or even recommend to my friends and family because there were too many scenes that were so graphic that I was blushing even though I was the only one in the room! (Okay, Hubby was in the room but he was otherwise occupied at the computer so he doesn't really count as someone else in the room.. yanno?)

After watching the movie, I find myself thinking about life and how most of us are always searching for something more. "The Kids Are All Right" seemed to say -Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it and only then will you realize that you had what you really needed all along.

Yeah. I get it. In fact, I should have that framed somewhere in my house.

Life is hard, relationships are harder still. I tell my kids every day that kindness matters.. that's an easy one. Maybe I should start telling them that relationships matter and kindness is required. Don't throw away what you have spent your whole life nurturing just because you wonder about how your life could be.... If you're not careful, you'll end up with nothing.

Kmart - Never A Dull Experience

2011-03-18T09:07:00.002-06:00

I hate Kmart. Really. Hate. You may think the depths of my dislike is strange considering the fond memories of going there with my sweet grandma for boxes of tissues and greeting cards, plus a soft serve ice cream cone, don't-mind-if-I-do... But in spite of those memories infused with the soft halo-glow of childhood, I really do avoid Kmart like the plague and there's a valid reason for my feelings.

You see, after the fire that destroyed all of my material possessions when I was tempestuous teenager (a fire that was 100% my fault I might add), my parents took us to Kmart. With the cloyingly thick smell of acrid smoke still on our skin and permanently etched into our nostrils, we were told to pick out new things. We needed everything from the basic hygiene supplies to some clothing to get us through the next few days. Believe me when I say it was not fun. I walked around that store in a tear-stained daze, touching nothing, seeing nothing, feeling only shock and emptiness. Eventually my parents grabbed some unwanted whatever off of the racks for me. To this day, I couldn't tell you what items were given to me from that store, but I can't even drive past it without a cold, hard pit of despair forming in my stomach.

Imagine how difficult it is for me to live with someone who thinks Kmart is the best place to stock up on camping and boating necessities. To be fair, he is right about Kmart's prices for propane being more reasonable than Cabela's, but knowing that doesn't make my smokey-charred memories any less paralyzing as I walk through those taunting automatic doors.

Camping season is quickly approaching and it is time to repair and replenish our outdoor supplies. I ventured out with Hubby to get propane as I prepared myself for the fire memories that were sure to pick at the edges of my conscious, in spite of my determination to ignore old ghosts. We wandered around the outdoor aisles, picking up the propane for our heaters and inspecting camp chairs and mattresses as we casually made mental to-do lists in our heads. We tossed a tea kettle in our cart (for hot chocolate on frosty camping mornings) and decided we had all we needed from that store so we headed for the check-out lanes.

And that is where it got interesting/annoying/humorous.

The growing trend of the cashier being a high-pressure sales person really irks me. A long time ago I made the decision that my charitable donations would all go toward Primary Children's Hospital in my daughter's name. Although this simplified the barrage of requests we get for donations, it can make me seem miserly at times. But due to our strong ties to PCMC, I am confident in my decision to support their charity drives exclusively. Knowing that we were going to be asked to donate to something or other, I had my stock answer in the chamber and was ready to fire.

Holy cow that checker must have been in the running for employee of the month in cash register sales pitches, because I was completely unprepared for the avalanche of offers she was about to sling at us!

"Would you like to donate to the Childrens' Relief Fund?"

"No thank you."

"Do you have a Kmart shopper's card?"

"No thank you."

"Would you like to open one today and save 1%?"

"No, thank you."

"Do you have a Sears reward card?"

"No." (Hubby's sighs are getting more drawn out and I sense we're heading into troubled water.)

"You know, with a Sears card you can save on Craftsman brand and even get bonus points redeemable at Sears."

I'm literally cringing at this point, using every bit of ESP and mind-control I can muster to WILL the lady to shut up. Hubby's ears are turning red and I fear there's about to be a melt-down on aisle one.

"NO. Thank you."

"Would you care to participate in an in-store survey about your shopping experience today? It will only take a moment."

"NO. THANK YOU!"

The credit card scanner was then taken over by that very survey which she promised would only take a moment. I noticed the vein on Hubby's forehead start to pulse.

Exaggerated, exasperate sighs hissed through Hubby's teeth as he slowly said, "Do I HAVE to do this now?"

"Well, if you don't want to then you can just select decline." The cashier was actually pouting and I started to laugh on the inside. This showdown was not leaning in the cashier's favor and she knew it.

"Are you guys going camping? You know we have great sales on our camping gear going on right now, you should check them out."

Hubby and I looked at each other and then grabbed our purchased items and made a dash for the exit. We were laughing as we walked through the parking lot, amazed by the relentless sales-pitch storm we had just endured.

Jokingly, I turned to Hubby and asked, "Have you had your tonsils out? You know you could save 15% if you chose to have them removed today."

Hubby grinned and looked at me sideways. I took that as a good sign so I continued to joke around.

"Would you care to adopt a puppy today? You can select one right here at the register and get bonus reward points!"

"No? How about a Pooch You Like To Smooch card? It will give you discounts on all your pet supplies if you sign up right now."

We were snorting with giggles by the time we got in our Jeep. We shook our heads over the tenacity of the cashier and went on our way, laughing and joking about our experience. And for once, my Kmart ghosts of memories past were completely forgotten."

Gratitude For My Girls

2011-03-14T08:25:00.000-06:00

This morning I woke with an overpowering feeling of gratitude for my sweet girls. I was thinking about them as I drifted off to sleep last night and they stayed in my thoughts all night long. Sweet! They are truly my besties and I am so lucky to be their mom!

Yesterday we did our heathan thing and went grocery shopping. I could not help but smile as Carley, Linzie, Abby, and me of course, all rolled the windows down in our shiny jeep (sunroof too) and let the sunshine and spring air fill our souls. We turned the stereo up and sang along... we were diggin' it!

Now that's my kind of Sunday worship!

My girls were such great helpers at the store! Each of them would peek over my shoulder and then head off in different directions to get items on our list. It was a game of grocery scavenger hunt and my girls played it well! I love it that they are old enough to be helpers with this mundane task that often leaves me bored halfway through the store. We laughed and joked with each other and one of our favorite checkers, Donnie, as we piled our purchases on the belt and noted how expensive kids can be.

Sidenote: Donnie has been our checker for so many years now that he knows what to expect from us. One day last week we needed just a few things from the store so Bill and I went on a fast errand. Upon seeing our meager purchases, Donnie laughed and asked us if everything was okay. He teased us about it not being our typical shopping trip. Next time he saw us with our cart load, he said, "Now that's more like you!" haha! He's a really nice guy that is always so friendly.. no wonder we choose his lane more often than anyone else's.

After the grocery store, my kiddos helped unload and put groceries away. They rocked it! I didn't even have to ask for their help, they just jumped right in. I love it that I can count on them in any situation, but especially in the grocery department because that's a big job for one person!

We took a few hours in the afternoon to watch a great old movie, The Earthling. It was one of my favorite movies as a child and I enjoyed sharing it with my girls. I have tried to buy it for years because I think it has a great story and incredible acting by the two main characters. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon with my girls.

Although it wasn't a weekend filled with adventures and photos of crazy things we have been up to, it was a perfect weekend spending time with my family. We truly enjoy each others' company and I had to be sure to take the time to let my girls know how much I love and appreciate each one of them. They are my besties and I am so very grateful to have them in my life!

And to the nameless, faceless stranger that left their grocery list in the shopping cart yesterday: I giggled to myself when I saw that "Asspergrass" was the first item on your list. Touche! I love asparagus and more than once, my goofy Hubby has pronounced it in the comical way you had written it on your grocery list. Nice to know we're not the only weirdos in the world.

I stole this picture from Carley's facebook page. Abby took this photo of the two of them just before we went to my mom's house on Saturday. Such cute girls!

It May Or May Not Have Been The Snow's Fault

2011-03-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

Where have I been hiding lately? Well, we had a storm. First it rained for a day and then it snowed.. for 12 hours maybe. And we maybe had 5 inches of snow.

BUT... that 5 inches of snow was enough to knock out our phones and our internet... or so I thought. So we called in a repair order and we waited... and waited... and waited.

Do you have any idea how stressful it is to live in a household with 5 teenagers and NOT have internet? I'm here to tell you that it wasn't pretty.. but that snow... that snow WAS pretty!

This morning we got a call (Our phone rang and we were actually shocked!) telling us that there was no trouble detected on our phone lines and the repair ticket was closed. Okaaaay.... but we didn't have service for 48 hours so how can there be NO trouble?? Our phone was back on for 2 whole hours before it all tanked once again. I called Qwest and told them that there definitely was trouble on our line and I expected it to be fixed... today! The customer service rep was nice enough, but when she told me that she couldn't get someone to my house until tomorrow.. I sort of freaked out on her and it went something like this...

"That's NOT fair! I had an appointment for TODAY and all I got was a call saying there was no trouble. I am actually DEMANDING that you get someone here to my house, T.O.D.A.Y! And I want the repairman to actually come TO MY DOOR, not just call from somewhere and say there isn't a problem. I'm telling you there IS a PROBLEM!"

The service lady quickly "found" an opening for someone to come today. Shocker.

Then Carley cautiously entered the room and she was sort of giggling. "I can't believe you said it wasn't fair, Mom. You sounded like you were four years old... and you look like you're about to cry."

"I AM about to cry! I do that when I get this angry."

She nodded because she has known me for a while now and she knows that when I'm truly pissed then I cry. THEN I cry... it's stupid, I think.. because then people take that as a sign of weakness.. or sadness.. and believe me, when THAT happens, I am definitely not sad! (I'm about 2 seconds away from ripping someone a new orifice.. luckily it doesn't happen very often.)

So I waited patiently for the repairman to show up. And when he did, he told me the trouble wasn't outside, but inside the house. (Wasn't that a creepy slasher movie once upon a time??) So he comes in and starts checking all the phone jacks, all the while making these huge, exasperated sighs like I have just taken away his birthday, Christmas, AND Cinco De Mayo all at once. Duuuude, lighten up!!

Confession: The whole time he was testing jacks downstairs, I was praying with all my might that he would find the problem and NOT have to go up to the master bedroom. Mom, if you're reading this, close your eyes...stop reading now.. I mean it! Okay, is she gone?? Good, because the confession is that my room was definitely not clean. Ohmigosh PLEASE don't let the problem be in my room!

The problem was in my room.

I quickly cleaned up the books, magazines and pillows on the side of my bed, but one of those gosh darn pillows decided to vomit feathers just then and it looked like there had been a chicken massacre right there in my room. I can see the headlines now, "Repairman reports possible new cult forming in master bedroom of Layton home due to copious evidence of rituals involving chicken slaughtering."

Nice.

You better believe I kept him waiting downstairs while I rushed the vacuum up the stairs. I am certain this didn't help his mood one single bit! Come to think of it, neither did traipsing him through Hubby's cluttered shop full of vehicle carcasses to look for the phone jack out there. Geeze, no wonder he was unhappy being at our house!

The good news is that he capped the line with the short in it. The bad news is that now there is a jack somewhere that won't work because we basically put a tourniquet on the phone service leading out of my room. (The recently de-feathered room!) Oh well, we have all the working phone jacks we need, for now, and the internet is once again up and order has been restored in the world!

Not to worry, Mom.. my room will be clean by this evening. You can come check on my progress if you want to... just don't look in the closet!

We Have A Fleet!

2011-03-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

Look at the picture at the top of this blog... see all of those girls up there? They are all teenagers and that means that most of them are now driving. When you have six girls, that's a lot of schedules to manage and we have been adding to our fleet of vehicles to give the responsible girls some freedom to manage their own lives.

The first car we bought for our kiddos was Carley's Toyota Camry. She loves that car and has dubbed it "Cowmander" because of the cow-patterned seat covers.

The next car we purchased was a Honda Civic that my little brother, Tyler, had been driving for a while. It was older and needed to be carefully handled but it was a Honda and we thought it would be a good ride for new drivers. Unfortunately, it met an untimely end just four days after we bought it, but I am thankful no one was hurt!

OUCHIE!

It was a while before Madi drove again... for her peace of mind and for ours, we gave her a driving break. After a few months, her dad gifted her a mini van which was very generous of him, but um... mini van. Ick! Madi drove that van for only a few months and had nothing but problems with it! After it broke down on her again, we finally sold it to get rid of the bad juju that seemed to be stuck to it like glue.


Van breaks down... AGAIN!

It took us almost two months before we found a suitable replacement car for Madi to drive. But when we found the Nissan Maxima, we had high hopes that it would be a perfect fit and I will say that it has suited her better than the van ever did, even if it still needs a few things to fix it up proper. We named her car "Mad Max" which is perfect considering she is Madi and it is a Maxima. We are such clever, witty people. Haha!

We took a short break from car hunting but then one day we went to the car auction on a whim... Hubby wants to buy super cheap cars and then clean them up and resell them for a profit. The day we were there, a red Jeep Cherokee was for sale and you better believe we snagged it for Emily and the other two soon-to-be drivers. What I wasn't counting on was that Hubby would fall truly, madly, deeply in love with the Jeep. He didn't know he was a jeep man until we brought the shiny red jeep home. He began driving it every day to work... I was concerned that he wouldn't let the other kids drive it.. Ever! We needed a solution to this problem...

Even though I saw a huge issue developing with Hubby's possessiveness toward the red Jeep, I wasn't actively looking for a new vehicle. I figured we would jump off of that bridge when we came to it. We still have a few months before we turn Emily loose with a car anyway, so I tried to remind Hubby every so often that I bought the Jeep for the girls. FOR. THE. GIRLS. It wasn't working.

Yesterday I was taking Emily to school when I saw the most beautiful sight at a local car dealership. I quickly sent Hubby a text:

Me: "There is a HOT blue Jeep parked at the Young dealership."

Hubby: "There is a hot red Jeep parked in front of our house!"

Me: "Uh no.... I don't think you can understand."

We talked about the Jeep a little bit that afternoon, but we both felt nothing would come of it, even after the salesman sent me a personalized video of the sweet Jeep. We agreed that we have too many cars and can't manage anything additional. However, that would all change later that night when Hubby drove past the Jeep himself. I will never forget him walking in the door and saying, "So, do you want a Jeep?"

After an evening of financial planning and a few emails sent between me and the salesperson, we decided to go ahead and buy the sweet new Jeep. It would be a nice vehicle for us and it would definitely break Hubby's addiction to the red Jeep. We were at the dealership at 9am to ink the deal and this is what we brought home...

We are totally in love with this sexy new Jeep! We have taken it on several drives today with the girls and everyone agrees that it is perfectly lovely. Now I need to get a picture of our fleet so you can get a glimpse of the chaos that is our driveway.. it includes one Dodge truck, one Durango, one Camry, one Maxima, one Yamaha boat and TWO Jeeps! (Good thing the neighbors can't see that there is also a torn apart Celica and second torn apart Durango in Hubby's shop.. oh yeah, and four four-wheelers and three waverunners in the back yard! Whew what a fleet!)

Back Away From The Jet Plane, You're Not Leaving

2011-03-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a very realistic dream that I was heading to Massachusetts with my mom and older brother, Roger. We were at the airport when I realized I did not bring my wallet with me and hence had no ID so I could not get on the plane.

Hubby said I was whimpering intensely in my sleep.

In my dream, I had to go home to get my identification and rush back to the airport in hopes of getting on a later flight. When I got there, I was told there was a purchased ticket waiting for me. (apparently someone traveling with my mom had already paid for my ticket but it was a dude I did not know) I was excited about the ticket because I was told that all the flights to Massachusetts were sold out for the next 6 months. What a lucky break for me!

I got all checked in and headed to the gate, excited to be on my way! When it was time to board the plane, I couldn't find my ticket anywhere. I dumped out everything searching for it and I remember thinking that I had way too much trash in my purse/wallet/ whatever it was that I was searching. I begged the gate agents to print me another ticket but they wouldn't because that other dude was the one who actually purchased the ticket, not me.. therefore, they told me that I had no real claim to it.

I was not allowed to get on the plane. :(

Forgotten identification, missing ticket = no trip to Massachusetts. No wonder I was whimpering in my sleep!

And The Oscar Goes To.....

2011-02-28T11:22:00.003-07:00

Everyone in the goshdarn world is posting about the Oscars today so I figured it was worth a mention here as well. Yes, we watched the 83rd annual Oscar awards. No, we didn't originally plan to do so. I was interested in the Oscars of course, but my biggest question was not who would win the big trifecta, but would Banksy show up or not? He did not. In fact, Exit Through The Gift Shop didn't even win.. neither did Restrepo.. Disappointing! (check out Banksy's website HERE to see why I think he is genius!)

Hubby held on as long as he could, sweetly feigning interest from time to time. I had taken him to see The King's Speech earlier in the day so he had actually seen three of the big contenders and had opinions on some of the categories as well. The girls and I continued watching the event after Hubby gave up and went to bed. We skipped forward through the commercials and the boring speeches and had a great time overall... until it was time for Mr. Spielberg to announce best picture...... Wait for it..... The DVR recording stopped! We were so far behind the actual telecast that we were unable to switch to live and see the LAST FEW MINUTES OF THE OSCARS! Ugh... Care to know what recording killed our Oscar buzz? Big Love. That's right, Tom Hanks' HBO series about polygamists in Utah took over our DVR and put a screeching halt to our Oscar viewing.

There's got to be some humor in there somewhere.

Thanks to Google, we were at least able to find out who won.. The King's Speech. I wasn't disappointed because I had just seen it that very day and I really liked the movie. I also had a really great date who held my hand and let me snuggle his arm through the entire movie so it was a win all the way around!

It was an enjoyable evening spent with my family.. but like I said, it wasn't planned. The planned event was the night before when Hubby and I dirtied up every dish in the kitchen while us girls sang along with great iPod music and Hubby broke out in a dance or two as we made an excellent dinner! You can read about that on our Culinary Blog once I get it all written up and splashed with pictures.

Culinary Blog

2011-02-26T11:31:00.001-07:00

I have decided to start a blog dedicated to our love for culinary adventures. Two Happy Foodies was unveiled today and although the look of it isn't quite what I want it to be yet, the first post will give you an idea of what's to come.

Hubby and I love to travel and we love to learn new culinary techniques and dishes that we can make at home with our family. Our favorite thing to do is spend time together in the kitchen or cooking up something wonderful in our backyard oven and barbecue pit.

We hope our friends and family will enjoy reading about our cooking hobby almost as much as they enjoy coming over for dinner!

Bringing Hawaii To Us!

2011-02-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled that Hubby's Hawaiian sister and her family are coming to visit us at the end of March! Leilani, Kona and their children, Christian and Jolene, are coming to stay with us for a day or two and I hope to be able to introduce them to my family and keep them entertained while they are here.

But there's the rub.. How in the world will our favorite islanders be impressed with Utah in the winter??

Last night we were giddy as we talked about having a big dinner event and having lots of people over... okay, okay.. maybe it was just ME that was giddy, but STILL! I love these people so much and I don't want them to dislike their visit with us. The only thing that I can think of to show them that they don't have back home is snow! (And they aren't used to being cold so I doubt skiing will be high on their wish list!)

Allow me to show you some fun things we have done with Leilani, Kona and family while on their sandy turf:

As you can see from just a few of our photos, we have had amazing adventures in Hawaii with our family there. We have snorkeled with sea turtles, visited active volcanoes, enjoyed wonderful luaus, visited Pearl Harbor, and we did lots and lots of shopping! (and that isn't even HALF of what we have experienced over there!) I have no idea what we could possibly offer Leilani and Kona here in Utah, but nevertheless, I am so excited that they are coming!

For Dottie

2011-02-23T07:52:00.001-07:00

Hello cute lady! I was talking to Mom a while ago and she told me that you had mentioned that you can't leave me comments here on the blog. This morning I made some changes to the blog in order to make that easier for you if you ever want to leave us a message here.

This is how you comment on a blog:

First you need to go to the bottom of a post and look for the "comment" link.

This isn't the best picture but you can see the red circle over the comment link that you're looking for.

Click on that and it will take you to the section where you can type whatever it is you want to say.

Then you will see the comment box. I changed the settings today to allow for "anonymous" comments. You need to click on the drop down box and select "anonymous" so that you can post. Here is what that looks like:

By clicking on the blue down arrow next to "comment as" you will see the list of options and you just need to select Anonymous. This makes it so you can comment without having a google account.

Once you have typed what you want to say in the comment box, click on "Post Comment" and it should show up. Don't feel like you have to post a comment. I just wanted to make sure the option was there for you.

Also, if you ever log in to Facebook, I have had a friend request waiting for you for months and months now. *Grin* If you see it, accept me as your friend so I can leave messages for you there too!

Love you so so much! I miss you and think of you every day! I hope you are doing well and that you can see the hope of spring beginning to peek out around the edges. It won't be long before the songbirds come back and the trees begin to bud. I can't wait for spring!

Ode To Spring

2011-02-22T23:20:00.003-07:00

You may have noticed the blog got a little spring face-lift today.. The new look is because I am craving springtime! I want to throw the windows open wide and listen to the birds outside my window. I want to begin planning my gardens and daydream of the sun warming my bare feet on the deck overlooking those gardens. Everything is better in springtime, don't you agree?

When I think of spring, I always hear the poetry of John Keats in my mind. I love the lyrical quality of his work and the way his descriptions paint a picture in my head and on my heart. Springtime wouldn't be the same for me without reading Keats.

John Keats was 25 years old when he died, and he thought himself a failure.

Four Seasons fill the measure of the year;

    There are four seasons in the mind of man:
He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear
    Takes in all beauty with an easy span:
He has his Summer, when luxuriously
    Spring's honied cud of youthful thought he loves
To ruminate, and by such dreaming high
    Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves
His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings
    He furleth close; contented so to look
On mists in idleness--to let fair things
    Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.
He has his Winter too of pale misfeature,
Or else he would forego his mortal nature.

Bright Star, Endymion, To Autumn... all of these are wonderful examples of the beautiful works of John Keats.

*sigh*

He is my favorite! (okay... ONE of my favorites!) But if you haven't read Keats then you probably don't understand why I associate the approaching spring with his beautiful poems and sonnets. (don't even get me started on his tragic love story with Fanny Brawne!)

And IF you haven't read his work, then why are you hanging around here? Go look him up!

Life Is What Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans

2011-02-21T12:40:00.001-07:00

Waking up to snow this morning puts me in a wintery sort of mood. I'm thinking it is going to be a great day to make some clam chowder and homemade bread while dreaming of wonderful New England visits. It's hard to believe that we had glorious spring weather last week with temperatures so warm that our windows were open wide all day and night. Not so much this morning.. Brrrr!

Speaking of last week, remember the Jeep I bought at auction for the girls? I am laughing at what it has turned into. Apparently Hubby had a hidden genetic need for Jeeps and now that his switch has been triggered, he's a full-on Jeep man! It is really cute to see how attached he is to the vehicle I purchased for the girls... but truthfully I am beginning to wonder how he will ever be able to let go of it long enough for them to claim it. I think we just may have a turf war in the making, but at least the girls won't have to worry about the Jeep being properly maintained. Cute Hubby completely cleaned the nasty interior, washed all of the windows and then hand washed the exterior and changed the oil. Could it be true love? I don't know how deeply his Jeep love affair runs, but I definitely love the way we can entice a sly grin from him just by saying the word "Jeep" in his presence.

Have I mentioned lately just how much I love this cute guy of mine?

Our week was also filled with Valentine gifts, scholarship highs and lows, one mortgage refinance loan and a Sweetheart's dance for Emily and Madi. It was a super busy week, but let me tell you a little secret.... Hubby has been in some sort of class for his work all week which means he was working during the day and HOME in the evenings! *happy dance* I'm certain there would have been drama up to my eyeballs if Hubby hadn't been right by my side each night. He's a super hero! Maybe we should call him Anti-Drama Man! Hubby has two more weeks of school in the day and you better believe I will be enjoying every minute of having him home with the family in the evening!

**Update- I started writing this post on Sunday morning. I finished it on Monday morning in a much different mood than I was feeling the previous day.

Last night Hubby sprang it on me that he was bidding for his yearly shift at work. He explained to me that he wanted to go back to working on the planes, rather than working the tower which he has done for the past two years... working on airplanes means he would be gone in the evening and he would not get weekends with us... his family. He then told me that there WAS one tower opening that would give him the same shift and days off that he has had for the last year. I desperately hoped he would choose that option. I tried to point out all of the reasons why that would be the best choice.. one full weekend day with the family, more opportunities for at least one day of getting out of the house together, weekend visits with Ashley.. it seemed like the best choice to me. I was sick over it but hoped that he would choose family. He did not. :(

Suffice it to say that I went to bed with a broken heart last night. Hubby and I exchanged some heated words and I cried. A lot. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Can someone please explain to me why men are so dumb when it comes to the obvious? Oh well. I will have to learn to live with the new schedule.. and concentrate on my girlies who are my true constants anyway.

Not the way I hoped to wrap up this blog post but sometimes life delivers a kick in the pants that derails the happy train.

Hubby's Selfish Monster:1 Me: 0

A Blog Letter To Aunt Dottie

2011-02-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Aunt Dottie, you made my day yesterday! I was in the middle of a frantic "Must get to point A, rush through it and then hope I get to point B on time so that I can then rush home to the girls and find out what they need from me next!" But in the middle of all that rushing around, I picked up my mail and immediately focused on your perfectly delicate penmanship staring up at me from the cream colored envelope.

I squealed with excitement... not even kidding!

My hectic schedule was forgotten as I sat down with my treasured letter and lost myself in your beautiful writing.

Dottie, you mean the world to me! Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish I lived closer so that I could spend time chatting with you whenever I felt like it. After reading your letter yesterday, I starting thinking how wonderful it would be if I could come up with the money to bring the girls out to see you in person. They have heard all the stories and they line up to read your letters every time one arrives in the mail. I will have to work on that saving up the money because it would mean so much to them to take a trip out there.. and to me also!

Confession time. Every time I get a letter from you, I immediately smack my forehead because I have the BEST of intentions to sit down and actually WRITE you a letter... and send you a package. Strange as it may sound, I don't have stationary so I make mental notes to pick some up and then in the hustle and bustle of my crazy teenagers running my life, I never get the chance. It will happen though! I don't like being a slacker, especially when it comes to my favorite Massachusetts lady!

I know you have had such a difficult, extreme winter. The truth is that I have been a little jealous of all of the winter weather you have had there and that my friends in New York have had. I look out my window and see green grass with only occasional snow and I wonder where all the white stuff is! (It happens to be raining as I write this) However, I know enjoying snow from inside a cozy home and being forced to drive around in it are two completely different things... and with the three teenage drivers I have now, part of me is very grateful for our mild winter so that they have more time to practice their driving skills.

I'm glad that you read our blog as often as you do. It makes me so happy to be able to share our lives with you this way since we cannot be closer... but I do hope to make it out there with all the girls anyway! I treasure the photos and memories of my trip out there to see you last fall. I was just looking through them this week and I ached to be back there again. Somehow it just feels like home to me back there and I look forward to (and desperately hope for) a return trip in the near future.

Love you so much, sweet lady! Stay warm and safe out there and know that I am always thinking of you.

-Nik

It's A Big Day!

2011-02-16T13:47:00.005-07:00

**Update- They did not advance past regionals, but that's okay. I am so proud of them for all of their hard work and the guts it took to put themselves through this grueling process!

My oldest girls, my very first babies, are preparing for a very big interview just 90 minutes from now. Each of them won their category last fall in the Sterling Scholar competition at their High School and today is the regional interviews.

When you come from a family of modest means, scholarship money is a very big deal.

Carley won the Visual Arts category and will be presenting her art portfolio. She is required to carry everything by herself, which includes many large art pieces, and the winds are howling today! My adorable girl just confessed to me that she is more worried about her skirt flying up than anything else. She makes me laugh!

I forced her to be cheesy for this picture.. but seriously, how adorable is her smile!

Madi won the English category and will be presenting her newspaper articles, essays and other writings. Her portfolio isn't nearly as cumbersome as Carley's so I have asked her to be the one to deal with the car keys once they arrive.

We have been practicing interview questions and reassuring both of them that no matter what happens we are SO VERY PROUD of their many accomplishments! More money for their college education would be a blessing, but the greatest rewards on this journey are the lessons that they have learned about hard work and seeing things through to the end. (now go kick some serious butt at your interviews!)

Their pictures were in the local paper yesterday for being Sterling Scholars. You can find that article HERE.

You can see their cute pictures by opening the links to the left of the article. Or by downloading the links below. There are a lot of kids competing against them and I'm sure the competition is tight... Good luck girls!!
2011 Sterling Scholars: Trade and Technical Education, Visual Arts nominees
2011 Sterling Scholars: English, Computer Science nominees